When a Setback Isn’t a Disaster
Oh, crap. It’s all gone to hell!
When is a setback not a disaster?
Those of us who have been fortunate enough to build good lives often begin to view certain elements of those lives as essential to our happiness. If we lose one of them, even temporarily, we may feel as though everything has fallen apart. We may believe we have to start over, when all we really need is a course correction.
But if we move through life expecting setbacks and prepare for them as much as possible, our disappointment may be softened. We may even discover opportunities we would not have found otherwise. Disappointments will still come, but they may seem less overwhelming when we place them within the larger context of our lives.
Fitness, Health, and Fun
Those of you who are regular readers know that I periodically deal with injuries, aches, and pains that interfere with the life I am trying to lead. One of my goals in writing this essay is to gain perspective when faced with those setbacks.
At the moment, I’m dealing with a knee issue. It is nothing too serious, but it is enough to limit some of my activities. A few years ago, I was looking for a form of exercise that was genuinely fun—something I could look forward to, not just something I did for my health. I had been an avid bicycle rider, but cycling was starting to feel like a grind.
Then, a few years ago, I played a spur-of-the-moment tennis match with a friend, and it sparked my interest enough that I began looking for opportunities to play regularly. Since then, I’ve been playing two to four times a week, making real progress, and enjoying it immensely.
So when I tweaked my knee while playing tennis, I immediately catastrophized the injury. I imagined it as the end of my tennis journey and, by extension, a threat to my ability to stay fit and active.
Perspective
In the grand scheme of things, tweaking a knee is a minor setback. There are many people with far more significant mobility issues who continue to play tennis, exercise, compete, and live fully. And, of course, my situation could be so much more serious.
I’ve known about Nick Vujicic for some time, and whenever I feel limited by something happening in my own life, I sometimes return to his story. Nick was born without arms and legs due to a genetic disorder called tetra-amelia syndrome. Faced with that reality, it would be understandable for someone to feel devastated or limited by what life had taken from them.
But Nick has refused to let perceived limitations define the boundaries of his life. He swims, surfs, skydives, and has become a widely known motivational speaker. His life is a powerful reminder that our circumstances may shape us, but they do not have to fully define us.
That kind of perspective may seem almost impossible from a distance. Still, when we face the loss of certain elements of our lives, we have a choice. We can change our path to align with our current reality, or we can live only in the shadow of what we have lost. The former is almost always the healthier path.
Staying Open to Life
It is easy to see our current circumstances as the only path toward happiness, fulfillment, and health. But the truth is that there are many paths. If our circumstances change, especially in ways we did not choose, it can be tempting to believe that some of our goals and activities are no longer possible.
Sometimes that may be true. But often, the goal is still possible; we simply need to find a different route toward it. And when the original path is no longer available, the setback may become an opportunity to explore other possibilities and embrace the joy, energy, and excitement that can come with discovering a new passion.
Setbacks can be deeply disappointing. But when we face them, we can either focus only on the worst-case scenario or look for a new path with some of the same energy, enthusiasm, and hope we brought to the old one.
The choice, as always, is ours.
Artwork by Ars Nova
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