Fulfillment and finding one’s purpose in life are common themes in this blog and in my own life. When I saw Ikigai—Find Your Reason for Being: Uncover the Japanese Secret to Happiness and Purpose in Your Life by John Lancashire, I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about the concept, which has been part of Japanese culture for centuries.
Focus on the good in your life. When things are going smoothly, it is easy to focus on what is good. You may still have small headaches and minor setbacks, but overall, life feels steady and positive. It is when things go south that staying positive becomes both more difficult and more important. Focusing only on the negative aspects of your life can become a slippery slope. It may lead to self-pity, catastrophizing, and prioritizing the wrong things. Developing the habit of keeping the good things in your life—both past and future—at the forefront of your thoughts can help keep negativity at bay and allow you to stay focused on the path toward your goals.
Do you believe in the inherent goodness of human nature? If your only contact with people were face-to-face in calm, nonstressful situations, you might conclude that people are generally friendly, polite, and generous. But when certain social dynamics enter the picture, you might come to a very different conclusion. Under particular circumstances, people can seem to lose their empathy, emotional intelligence, and ability to regulate themselves. They lash out. They become harsh, insulting, or even cruel. Why does this happen? How does a person who is normally kind and polite suddenly act like a bully?
When is a setback not a disaster? Those of us who have been fortunate enough to build good lives often begin to view certain elements of those lives as essential to our happiness. If we lose one of them, even temporarily, we may feel as though everything has fallen apart. We may believe we have to start over, when all we really need is a course correction. But if we move through life expecting setbacks and prepare for them as much as possible, our disappointment may be softened. We may even discover opportunities we would not have found otherwise. Disappointments will still come, but they may seem less overwhelming when we place them within the larger context of our lives.
Do what you love, and you’ll lead a happy life, right? Well, it’s not always that simple. No one does only what makes them happy. There will always be parts of life we would rather avoid: certain duties at work, housework, commuting, social obligations, and even activities we may feel uneasy about doing. Responsibilities are part of life. But if we look more closely at the things we do because we feel we “have to,” we may discover that some are not as burdensome as we assumed, while others may not truly be required of us at all.