When is a setback not a disaster? Those of us who have been fortunate enough to build good lives often begin to view certain elements of those lives as essential to our happiness. If we lose one of them, even temporarily, we may feel as though everything has fallen apart. We may believe we have to start over, when all we really need is a course correction. But if we move through life expecting setbacks and prepare for them as much as possible, our disappointment may be softened. We may even discover opportunities we would not have found otherwise. Disappointments will still come, but they may seem less overwhelming when we place them within the larger context of our lives.
Life never works out exactly how you envision it, and for the most part, that’s a good thing. It may not seem like it at the time, especially if something important is disrupted, but for most people, a break in routine is healthy. An interruption can allow you to take stock of where you are, to spend time with the people who are important to you, and to gain perspective on what is truly a priority for you. Planned breaks in routine, such as vacations, can also serve these purposes, but they tend to be hectic and require planning. An unanticipated break jumps outside of your normal routine and organizational approach, and “clears the decks” mentally and emotionally.
“What did you just say?”
There are times when someone says or does something that crosses the line. You’re angry, and you feel significantly wronged. It’s common in this scenario to either have an emotional knee-jerk reaction or to push your emotions inside and continue as if nothing happened. After the event and your initial reaction have passed, it’s important to reflect rationally on the incident, assess your reaction, and consider how you’ll interact with the person going forward. It’s all emotional, and the social dynamic can be complicated, but ultimately, you have to decide when to stand up for yourself and what form that will take.
Why is it that sometimes you can keep buzzing along—checking your boxes and making progress—and sometimes you just… can’t. We all have periods when the motivation isn’t there—when we can’t get off the dime and get going. This is fine as long as you are mindful of the dynamic. When you’re not feeling it, it’s essential to maintain self-awareness and know why you’re lacking in motivation. We all need downtime, but if your listlessness is due to something that’s within your control, it can be helpful to identify those factors and find a way to correct or adjust them. Motivation is one of the most important elements in a meaningful life. If yours is waning, it’s necessary to know why.
When you make close friends, especially when you’re young, they click easily and are fun and carefree. There may be drama, and some friendships won’t last, but they aren’t hard work for the most part. But as you gain years and experience, you also gain insights and opinions and become more set in your ways. You may disagree more with old friends or find certain characteristics irritating or puerile. You may even question why you’re still friends. But I’ve got news for you: people may feel that way about you, too. Long-term friendships are valuable and rare; don’t dismiss any long-term relationship as not worth the effort without serious reflection and thought.
