Vulnerability—The Benefits of Taking a Chance
Vulnerability is often thought of as a negative state. It is clearly negative in many contexts, such as business strategy, physical infrastructure, or national security. From the perspective of an individual, vulnerability can also feel negative. When you’re vulnerable, there is a greater chance you’ll be hurt, embarrassed, or will fail. But it’s also true that allowing yourself to be vulnerable is a meaningful way to learn (particularly about yourself), grow, and find opportunities you may otherwise have missed.
Taking a chance
Vulnerability is complicated. It is an emotion you feel but derives from decisions, actions, and words. It comes from taking a chance—from diverting from a familiar, comfortable path onto one that is unknown and fraught. Once you’ve turned onto the new path, you feel vulnerable, and your thoughts turn to the unknown element. You may fixate on worst-case scenarios. You may feel regret for taking the chance. You may doubt yourself and your ability to thrive on this new path.
While these feelings are natural, keeping them in context and ensuring that you give equal time to the meaningful possibilities, excitement, and growth that come with taking chances is essential. Acknowledge that you won’t have new experiences and the benefits they provide without taking chances.
The path of vulnerability
In essence, vulnerability means accepting circumstances that may result in a negative outcome. Sometimes, these negative outcomes are significant or life-changing; sometimes, they become part of your daily give and take. Sometimes, you start with a small risk and enter a path with considerable vulnerability.
An example of this is a love story. It may start small—a flirtation, some attention—with little risk of embarrassment or hurt. But then you get caught up in the excitement and potential for romance, take more significant risks, and ask the person to go on a date. You’ve put yourself out there. They may say no if the person doesn’t feel the same attraction. It would be embarrassing and painful. But the person accepts. You share more of yourself, good and bad, and you let the person get to know your essential self. You begin sharing each other’s lives—you’ve now made yourself very vulnerable. You’ve shared a piece of who you are with the person and fundamentally given of yourself. The stakes are as high as they can be. But the reward is equally significant.
The opportunity to grow
When life is safe, you take steps to avoid pain. Days, weeks, and years can go by without anything out of the ordinary happening. You haven’t opened yourself up to pain or struggle, but you also haven’t created an atmosphere that has the potential to enrich your life. Safety and security are illusions—psychological constructs that don’t exist. So you don’t gain anything by playing it safe. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you will likely learn much about yourself and others and discover opportunities you might not have seen otherwise.
These insights you gain will increase your confidence and comfort level with taking risks. You will still allow yourself to be vulnerable, but you will recast vulnerability in a positive light—one full of hope and excitement. The more you know yourself, the more you can be intentional about the risks you take and how much and what kinds of vulnerability you want in your life. But you’ll never get there by playing it safe.
Vulnerability is exciting
Finally, being vulnerable is exciting. It can cause rushes of adrenaline and endorphins. There is no equivalent to these effects when you play it safe. You may avoid discomfort and even prevent some level of pain, but the potential for regret and boredom are ultimately just as bad, if not worse.
Vulnerability is about letting the world in and letting it mesh with who you are. There might be some bumps and bruises along the way, but you’ll have a more meaningful and fulfilling life in the end.
Artwork by Benjavisa Ruangvaree
