Stress

Stress—How to Avoid it and How to Cope when You Can’t

Stress is, well, stressful. Everyone has it, but not everyone has it all the time. Stress, ironically, is a healthy thing, or it used to be. In the past, it kicked our fight-or-flight system into gear when we needed it. But modern humans tend toward a constant state of stress because we face persistent pressures, such as job insecurity, economic uncertainty, and political instability. This tendency keeps stress responses running constantly on high for many. So, what can we do about it? Is there a way to mitigate stress and curtail its effects on us? 

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Tragedy and Trauma

When the Bottom Falls Out—Dealing With the Aftermath

That was it, the final straw. I thought it couldn’t get any worse, but then there it was—the arrow into my heart. I have no idea how I’m going to go on. I crumple into a fetal position and lose all control. After a time—could have been an hour, could have been several hours—I come back to the world, but it is not the place I left. Nothing is real; it all exists beyond a curtain of pain. I move through the world, but I’m not of it. I try to reenter my life, but my will is gone, and I collapse again. It’s done. I’m done. I have no idea how I’m going to get through this.

Many of us have been there. A catastrophic event that alters our reality and strips away our capacity for joy. How do you move on from that kind of pain? How do you cross the chasm back to the living? You may just want to die—to end the pain. You may even think about ways this might be done. When tragedy happens, it can feel as if your whole world is gone and nothing that’s left in the world could possibly replace it. Everything, from now on, will be inadequate, unwanted, and painful to bear. Everything that remains is only a reminder of what is gone.

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Civil Living

New Release: Civil Living

Today, I’m honored to share something that’s been years in the making: the publication of my book, Civil Living: Finding Civility In Society, In Our Interactions, and Within Ourselves (link). Civil Living is a series of essays that represent a deep and ongoing exploration of how we live, relate, and show up in a world that often feels anything but civil.

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Path of Irritability

The Thorny Path of Irritability

It might start with a series of little things, or it might start with a big thing. There are many paths toward irritability, but you only take one. Once you’re down that path, you’re committed. The mood runs its course, and you have to ride it out. But the choice is yours whether to ride it out with eyes wide open or in a state of rage-fueled, self-righteous denial. Either way, irritability can ruin your day, making everything seem heavy and onerous. But even in this state, you have an opportunity to get to know yourself better.

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Endings

An Ending is Not Always a Failure

When something ends—a relationship, a passion, a job—we often characterize the experience as a failure. It may have had periods where it was magical and unique, but we emphasize that it is over and how painful that is. Instead of focusing on the wonderful experiences and special memories, we only think about the end and the pain and regret that come with it. It’s important to remember that everything will eventually end, and with the proper perspective, you can make the ending as meaningful as the experience itself.

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