Transformation

When things in life are going according to plan and clicking along, it can be comfortable. Sometimes so comfortable that we hesitate to make changes or take risks. It’s when things aren’t going quite right (or horribly wrong) that we often make fundamental changes in our lives — changes that can lead to evolution and growth.

Life never happens according to a script, and thank goodness. How boring would that be?

Everyone has times in their lives when it seems like the world is against them or they can’t catch a break. It’s very easy to feel sorry for ourselves, or feel like the world is against us. But it’s during those times that we might have an opportunity to “reboot” our lives. Instead of thinking about what we’ve lost, think about the potential for what we have to gain, or change, or try. There’s no reason we have to try to get back to our life as it was — we can try to get to where our life is going. Depending on the nature of our trials and tribulations, the challenges we face might give us an opportunity to

• make new connections with people;
• go into a new line of work;
• try a new sport, hobby, or activity; or
• move to a different area.

When our life is going according to plan, it’s often very hard to try new things, as the “old” things take up all our time and energy. If one of the old things (a job, a relationship, a project) crashes and burns, don’t obsess over what has been lost. Don’t try to make life static; it never will be.

Of course, it’s sad when we lose or fail at something — especially if it wasn’t our choice — and we don’t have to pretend not to be affected by it. But while we are doing that, we can think about what lessons we’ve learned, or the good times we had with somebody, and think about what can make us happy instead of thinking about what used to make us happy.

Happiness is always a moving target, and nothing is ever permanent — don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Setbacks and struggle can even be therapeutic. Everyone has them, and everyone always will have them. Instead of letting them get the better of us, we can learn to deal with them positively and proactively.

With time, we can learn to be more resilient and naturally use the hard times to create new, interesting, and happier times.