self Archives - Page 2 of 14

May 11, 2024March 18, 2024 by Pete Wiley

Time Apart is Key to Meaningful Time Together

It’s hard to be away from those we love. We may feel longing or loss. We may even think that we aren’t a significant part of the other person’s life—that you’re not on their mind or in their heart anymore. While these feelings are natural, it’s important not to let them diminish the fact that you are your own person—independent and strong. It may not always feel that way, but each of us has an independent person inside us, needing nurturing and care—not from another person, but from ourselves. If you are always with another person, you may rely heavily on that other person for your identity and emotional state, which can lead to an unhealthy reliance on that person. This can become chronic and damaging. Some couples or friends spend a lot of time together in very healthy ways. But if you become emotionally dependent on the other person, that’s a problem.

March 16, 2024February 15, 2024 by Pete Wiley

Keeping your Sense of Self with Others

I just returned from an annual weekend in the woods with my college friends. We do this every year, and this year was our fortieth!! I (obviously) love spending time with those guys, and we know each other as well as friends can. We spend time catching up, “reveling,” making chili, and playing cards (pitch). For the duration of the event, we are with each other every moment. There are few people I would be able or willing to spend this much time with all in one go, but these guys are in that category. It is still a challenge, not because of anything they do, but because being with people generally is challenging for me—especially when it’s constant and for an extended time. The introversion voice is strong.

November 25, 2023November 22, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Vulnerability—The Benefits of Taking a Chance

Vulnerability is often thought of as a negative state. It is clearly negative in many contexts, such as business strategy, physical infrastructure, or national security. From the perspective of an individual, vulnerability can also feel negative. When you’re vulnerable, there is a greater chance you’ll be hurt, embarrassed, or will fail. But it’s also true that allowing yourself to be vulnerable is a meaningful way to learn (particularly about yourself), grow, and find opportunities you may otherwise have missed.

in Emotions / Open Mind 0 comments

August 5, 2023April 27, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Pillars of Life—The Importance of Engaging Mind, Body, and Spirit

As we move through our days, we may live active, productive, and even meaningful lives. But something may still be missing. It may be hard to put our fingers on it. One possible reason for this is the failure to be intentional about fundamental aspects of our lives—mind, body, and spirit—the three pillars of life. Most of us engage with these pillars to some degree: we exercise, we challenge ourselves mentally, or we have healthy spiritual lives. But how many of us consistently engage with all three pillars intentionally and regularly? When we do, we’ll find that our lives are enhanced—in ways that we may not even realize.

in Emotions / Mindful 0 comments

Indifference. Painting of a figure shut off from the world.

May 13, 2023April 6, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Why Should I Care? The Nature of Indifference

When we swat a mosquito, we don’t necessarily have any hostility toward it or its actions; we are indifferent. We are merely getting rid of an annoyance. That may be our attitude toward a great many things in the world—we don’t give them much thought, and we don’t care that much, if at all. For us to care about something, it must have some kind of emotional connection to us. We must have a reason for feeling something, positive or negative, about it and how we interact with it. Sometimes our indifference is affected for a purpose, sometimes it is genuine. Sometimes indifference is intentional, while sometimes it is due to a lack of awareness. Sometimes we are aware, but there is no emotional connection—there is no common frame of reference that would make us care. We can know something or someone well but still be indifferent due to how little they are involved in our lives. And, in the same way that we should be aware of why we have strong emotions about something, we should be aware of when and why we don’t.

in Emotions / Mindful 0 comments