Bonds that develop between people are often strong and seemingly unshakable. We might have our ups and downs, but we are devoted to each other and committed to long-lasting friendships. But inevitably, situations arise in which you’re called to support one friend over another. You have to show where your loyalties lie, and often, the choice is far from clear. You have to search deep within and decide which choice is true to your values and vision and, to the extent possible, honors your relationships.
“What did you just say?”
There are times when someone says or does something that crosses the line. You’re angry, and you feel significantly wronged. It’s common in this scenario to either have an emotional knee-jerk reaction or to push your emotions inside and continue as if nothing happened. After the event and your initial reaction have passed, it’s important to reflect rationally on the incident, assess your reaction, and consider how you’ll interact with the person going forward. It’s all emotional, and the social dynamic can be complicated, but ultimately, you have to decide when to stand up for yourself and what form that will take.
What are we working toward as a society? In times of societal upheaval, it can be helpful to know not only what we don’t want, but what we are working toward. The utopian ideal embodies a healthy society: a world in which we all work together toward common goals, where there is no need for greed or the hoarding of wealth, and where we are at peace. Of course, there are conditions we need to overcome to begin working toward that ideal, not the least of which is that, generally, people are greedy and self-centered. We also do not all share the same goals, values, or ways of living. But what if we could find utopia within ourselves? Personal utopia can be achieved, and if enough people achieve it, it will lead toward something more.
The old story of a genie in a bottle granting three wishes might seem like a dream come true, but it isn’t obvious to most what those wishes might be or if they would make their life or the world better. Wishing for something different than what you have is a risky venture. For many, there are heartaches and challenges that a wish, if granted, might resolve, but then they would be faced with a question of the greater good. They would have to decide whether the wish should have been used for the world at large rather than fixing their own lives. Fundamentally, the idea that a change will make your life better is also questionable. Each of us makes what we can with the life we are given, and of course, more money, the absence of disease, and the removal of heartache would make anyone’s life marginally better. However, dealing with those challenges is part of life and makes us who we are.
I believe in heaven and hell. They are as good (heaven) and as bad (hell) as you might imagine. But to me, they are not places but part of the human condition. We create our own heaven and/or hell inside of us and in our lives. If you have a positive, meaningful life and have a good perspective on how good your life is, you reside in heaven. If you’re petty, narcissistic, and selfish, and you view your life as one of winning and losing, you are in hell. The good news is that you have a choice of where you reside. There are people who have a hard life full of tragedy and heartache that still reside in heaven because they are able to focus on the good parts of their lives and the people who love them. There are also people who have everything they could possibly want but only see the challenges in their lives. They are living in hell by choice.
