honesty Archives - Page 4 of 7

December 24, 2022December 15, 2022 by Pete Wiley

Listen and Consider—Opening Up to Others’ Ideas

How attached are you to your opinions, ideas, and values? In some ways, they’re a part of who you are. They came to you through your experiences, influences, and effort. It’s easy to be defensive if any of these are questioned or challenged. You also may be very attached to a way of doing things, especially in a professional context. If you’ve thought through all the possibilities and consequences and worked hard to develop an approach, it may be challenging to hear opposing opinions or questions about whether yours is the right way to proceed. But the fact is, no matter how much work you’ve done, you likely have not considered all the alternatives or consequences. Others can bring their experiences and perspectives and ultimately make ideas stronger. Defensiveness, in any context, is usually indicative of a closed mind—an unwillingness to consider options.

April 2, 2022March 25, 2022 by Pete Wiley

Whole and True—Incorporating Integrity into Your Life

When I hear people talk about their values, I notice that they use a wide variety of words. Honesty, hard work, loyalty, and open-mindedness are all values that people I know strive for. But one value seems to always rise to the top: integrity. It’s a value that is unassailable yet losing ground in modern society. Ironically, some still uphold integrity as a core value while acting against it in all their words and deeds. A lack of integrity is not only accepted but also sought after and celebrated—from behind a veil of denial. I thought it would be interesting to dive in and deconstruct the word, the value, and the way it’s expressed. Before researching the word, I thought about what it means to me. In my mind, it suggests a quality of “honesty plus”—honesty at one’s core.

Woman with eyes closed, exuding happiness and peace.

July 24, 2021April 9, 2021 by Pete Wiley

Happiness and Peace—How to Maintain a Life of Serenity

We all have people in our lives who seemingly know how to push our buttons—they are somehow able to get under our skin and threaten our peace and happiness. There may also be circumstances that invariably make us tense or irritable. Rather than denying that this is happening or resigning ourselves to these unpleasant feelings, we can use a variety of tools and perspectives to help us identify these conditions and address them. We can also make ourselves less susceptible to being impacted by these conditions. We can build a foundation of serenity through practices that stabilize our emotional reactions and make us aware of how we interact with the world. We can also be proactive about the elements in our lives to which we consistently have negative reactions. Finally, we can look inside ourselves and try to truly understand why we react the way we do and use that knowledge to mitigate our negative emotions.

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May 8, 2021April 30, 2021 by Pete Wiley

My Rocky Relationship with Honesty

I am a liar.

I’ve been one my whole life. It hasn’t gotten me into trouble or hurt anyone, but I feel like it has hurt me. I probably don’t lie any more than most, but I’m uncomfortable with the amount of lying I do. Some of my lying is “good lying,” and some is bad. Some of my lying is adiaphorous (or so I tell myself), but I don’t think any lying sits squarely on the fence. Even if it isn’t harmful to others, it makes me more comfortable with lying. I mainly lie for convenience; it’s rarely malevolent. That doesn’t mean it’s not bad; it just means it’s not significantly harmful—or so I tell myself. Lots of my lies are lies of omission, and most of those lies are good lies; they spare someone’s feelings or make a process move along more quickly. They are instances when telling the truth would serve no useful purpose or would do harm. But some instances involve keeping secrets related to an inconvenient or embarrassing truth. Most of these secrets are harmless—or so I tell myself.

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July 18, 2020November 1, 2019 by Pete Wiley

Art through Pain—Getting to the Heart of Our Struggles through Expression

Life is full of ups and downs. They are what make it interesting, exciting, and fulfilling. In order to get to the high points—the victories, the triumphs, the loves—we all have to risk, and ultimately experience, the low points. And it’s in those low points that we truly learn what we are made of.

When we go through our lows—whatever their cause and however they manifest—it’s natural to want to get through them as quickly as possible, to snap out of it and pretend they never happened.

Not only does that not work—we can’t ignore unpleasant emotions any more than we can ignore a broken arm—it also denies us the opportunity to gain insights into what makes us tick and get to the heart of who we are.

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