What are your strengths? One would think that people know what they’re good at, but as you figure this out, you may hit many bumps and curves along the way. You may also go through periods where you feel you haven’t discerned your strengths and may never figure it out. Somehow, college kids are expected to know what they want to do with their lives as they choose their major at 19! Most of us will try a few things until we find one we like and are good at. But we may continue to have lingering doubts about our choices. Is this my calling—what I want to devote my life to? We may feel like our life is “fine,” but we must keep looking. We have to find our niche.
The world, even your little slice of it, contains significantly more than you could possibly fathom. As you move through your life, you notice things that your brain has been trained to bring to your conscious level of awareness. Your brain can process an unbelievable 11 million bits of information every second, but our conscious mind can only handle 40 to 50 bits of information a second. The big question is, what gets past the filter and why? You notice things you must so that you stay away from danger and navigate your life, but there are whole worlds that don’t make it into your awareness, and there are elements of those worlds that you would definitely be interested in exploring if you could. So, how can you decide what makes it to the front row of your mind?
You have something really good going. You’re happy. You’re proud. You’re excited. But then, just like that, you can’t keep it up. Somehow the old patterns reappear, and you find yourself wondering how you were able to start down the golden path to begin with, and how you were able to stay on it, even just for a little while.
Developing good habits and keeping away from bad habits seems so simple on the surface. We have free will. If we want to do something (or stop doing something), we should just do it (or stop doing it). What’s preventing us? The answer is complex and multifaceted. There are many forces in our lives that drive us toward or away from certain behaviors. It’s important to recognize this fact and do everything we can to understand those forces and how they affect us. We also have to recognize our strengths and weaknesses that help or hinder our ability to overcome these forces to enable us to work effectively toward getting on, and staying on, the path we desire.
I’ve had several times in my life during which I can only think about one thing. Everything else was relegated to brief attention when absolutely necessary. These “one things” included romantic interests, upcoming trips to new and interesting places, and life transitions. During these periods, my focus is unmatched, and my will is extremely strong. I find ways to mold reality into what I want it to be. I manipulate circumstances and people (mostly in positive ways) to ensure that my goals are achieved. These periods in life are exciting and truly meaningful, but they can also be fraught with anxiety, stress, and desperate longing. These are the moments when you feel most alive, existing with overwhelming intensity. However, during these times, you tend to lose perspective, as all that can be seen is the object of your attention. This state can make you highly effective, but it can also chip away at your mental and physical health. You seek your holy grail, and in your mind, it’s that one thing that can bring you happiness and fulfillment
For many of us, a disruption can be like a test of how legitimate a sense of urgency is. In our daily routines, busyness and urgency can become a permanent state. You have tasks, you have meetings, people count on you and so you must get the job done—now. If your schedule gets derailed, you may begin to feel overwhelmed and anxious. I’m falling behind! All this is coming due now! You work late nights and weekends. You get it all done, but you somehow still feel behind. That lingering sense of pressure never really goes away. Some feelings of urgency are from specific timelines and due dates. These are necessary aspects of the working world and are needed to coordinate and work collaboratively. However, many of these are a bit arbitrary and are not associated with a specific need to complete a task by a certain time.