Holidays can be rough. Hectic schedules, finding gifts, family drama—it can be overwhelming. Stress is a common side effect of a season that is meant to be happy, celebratory, and fun. But where does that stress come from? It’s different for different people but may include unreasonable expectations, social anxiety, or loneliness. Instead of feeling joy, many end up feeling irritable, sad, or disappointed and can’t wait for it all to be over. But the holidays can be the joyful, exciting, and magical time they’re meant to be with just a few tweaks of your perspective.
One of life’s most important but most challenging aspects is achieving a state of balance. We are all eventually faced with a broad range of demands, passions, and responsibilities to which we cannot devote sufficient time or energy. We ultimately have to choose those activities that we either need or must spend more time with at the expense of others. You might base this on requirements or perceived requirements. You might disregard your responsibilities and focus on what you love, but regardless, at some point, you will have to choose what you do with your time.
What are your strengths? One would think that people know what they’re good at, but as you figure this out, you may hit many bumps and curves along the way. You may also go through periods where you feel you haven’t discerned your strengths and may never figure it out. Somehow, college kids are expected to know what they want to do with their lives as they choose their major at 19! Most of us will try a few things until we find one we like and are good at. But we may continue to have lingering doubts about our choices. Is this my calling—what I want to devote my life to? We may feel like our life is “fine,” but we must keep looking. We have to find our niche.
The world, even your little slice of it, contains significantly more than you could possibly fathom. As you move through your life, you notice things that your brain has been trained to bring to your conscious level of awareness. Your brain can process an unbelievable 11 million bits of information every second, but our conscious mind can only handle 40 to 50 bits of information a second. The big question is, what gets past the filter and why? You notice things you must so that you stay away from danger and navigate your life, but there are whole worlds that don’t make it into your awareness, and there are elements of those worlds that you would definitely be interested in exploring if you could. So, how can you decide what makes it to the front row of your mind?
You have something really good going. You’re happy. You’re proud. You’re excited. But then, just like that, you can’t keep it up. Somehow the old patterns reappear, and you find yourself wondering how you were able to start down the golden path to begin with, and how you were able to stay on it, even just for a little while.
Developing good habits and keeping away from bad habits seems so simple on the surface. We have free will. If we want to do something (or stop doing something), we should just do it (or stop doing it). What’s preventing us? The answer is complex and multifaceted. There are many forces in our lives that drive us toward or away from certain behaviors. It’s important to recognize this fact and do everything we can to understand those forces and how they affect us. We also have to recognize our strengths and weaknesses that help or hinder our ability to overcome these forces to enable us to work effectively toward getting on, and staying on, the path we desire.