Intentional Engagement

Intentional Engagement—Healthy Existence in a Heartbreaking World

How can I live a normal, comfortable life with so much pain and suffering in the world? 

It’s a good question. For some, it’s a source of constant guilt and anxiety. A better (healthier) question might be: Am I doing what I can to decrease the pain and suffering in the world while still leading a fulfilling, meaningful life? The truth is that your suffering doesn’t stop others from suffering, while your working to decrease suffering does. You also might feel you don’t have the right to be happy while there is so much suffering in the world. That, too, begs the question of impact. Will you being miserable make others less miserable? So, how can you reconcile your life with the state of the world?

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Actions and Habits

Actions and Outcomes—Creating Your Future Through Habits

Nobody is perfect in their habits. There will always be backslides and hiccups related to the good habits we strive for and the bad habits we strive to avoid or control. Sometimes, these lapses can be severe, and depending on the habits involved, they can have significant consequences. People have all kinds of habits, but it can be helpful to think about how they impact your life. Some habits contribute to or detract from your mental or physical health; others may add meaning to your life in various ways. Some may provide spiritual enrichment or a creative outlet. Some may seem easy, while others may be a constant struggle. 

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Pure Poison

Pure Poison—Offloading the Toxicity in Your Life

Poisons are the people, things, or situations you know are bad for you, yet they remain in your life. You likely have some poison in your life—everyone has. You may be one of the lucky ones who can recognize those situations right away and take decisive action. Or, like me, you rationalized, denied, or had an uncontrollable urge to keep them in your life. Most of these toxic elements in your life have their upside. They made you feel good in some way—at least in the short term, and that good must be intensely good because it is compelling you to live with the extreme negative aspects or consequences. The good part also may be a “potential good” or just imagined—a carrot just out of reach that never comes closer. The fundamental question is, why do you keep these poisons in your life? Why do you subject yourself to their ravages? 

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Rebellion—Embracing Your Essential Self

Rebellion—Embracing Your Essential Self

Do you consider yourself rebellious? There is an intensity to the word rebellion that suggests a significant and robust opposition. To me, it also indicates a solitary position—of being alone in opposition to something. From the perspective of personal identity and growth, any mindset or behavior that goes against expectations can be an act of rebellion. These may be as important as moving away from expectations that have been ingrained since childhood or as simple as a fashion statement. However, none are insignificant. When you act in a way that is true to your essential self and away from societal or personal expectations, you act rebelliously in the most healthy way. It will help you grow, find confidence, and give your life more meaning.

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Fluidity of Friendship

The Fluidity of Friendship—The Evolving Nature of Our Connections

The people you know are not the same people they were when you met.

People change—sometimes little by little, in subtle ways, and sometimes dramatically—but, ultimately, we all change all the time. We have to be open to changes in the people we know—even those we have known intimately or for a long time. If we expect people to stay the same, we will invariably be disappointed or confused. We also have to be open to changes within ourselves. If we find ourselves wondering why we aren’t reacting the same way to what is happening to us, it is because we are experiencing life as evolving, growing people. We constantly respond to the events in our lives in different ways, whether we know it or not. Once we embrace this fact, we will be able to handle life’s twists and turns with a sense of wonder and excitement instead of worry and foreboding.

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