Own it

Your Vision for Who You Are—Owning It

Most people have a vision for who they are and how they live. This includes how they interact with others, how much they eat and drink, exercise, and sleep patterns. It also might include how much time they devote to their family, job, or passions. You won’t always live your life in a way that is entirely consistent with that vision—no one can—but how you react to missteps is key to making your vision realistic. If you constantly berate yourself over something you did or didn’t do, you’re making it more than it should be and denying part of who you are. If you incorporate imperfection into your vision, you will be much more likely to realize it.

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Response to irrational behavior

Out of the Sandbox—How to Respond to Irrational Behavior

We’ve all been there. You’re going along with your day, and suddenly, someone lashes out. It might be anyone—a friend, coworker, or family member—and it is totally unexpected. You don’t understand. You didn’t do anything wrong. The person is acting like a child. Your first reaction might be defensiveness—hopping right into the sandbox. You don’t realize that your reaction might also be seen as irrational. You try not to react right away. But then you repeat the person’s behavior repeatedly in your head and start fuming. 

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Sense of Self

Keeping your Sense of Self with Others

I just returned from an annual weekend in the woods with my college friends. We do this every year, and this year was our fortieth!! I (obviously) love spending time with those guys, and we know each other as well as friends can. We spend time catching up, “reveling,” making chili, and playing cards (pitch). For the duration of the event, we are with each other every moment. There are few people I would be able or willing to spend this much time with all in one go, but these guys are in that category. It is still a challenge, not because of anything they do, but because being with people generally is challenging for me—especially when it’s constant and for an extended time. The introversion voice is strong.

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Consistency in Changing Circumstances

Maintaining Consistency in the Face of Changing Circumstances

At the moment, I am making a concerted effort to live a healthier life—less drinking, healthier eating, and consistent exercise. Under “normal” circumstances, I can do that without too much temptation—typical working days, going to bed at a consistent time, and managing my energy. But when there’s a celebratory mood, or we have people over, or during a vacation or the holidays, the temptations are much more significant, and the rationalizations are easier. 

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Actions and Habits

Actions and Outcomes—Creating Your Future Through Habits

Nobody is perfect in their habits. There will always be backslides and hiccups related to the good habits we strive for and the bad habits we strive to avoid or control. Sometimes, these lapses can be severe, and depending on the habits involved, they can have significant consequences. People have all kinds of habits, but it can be helpful to think about how they impact your life. Some habits contribute to or detract from your mental or physical health; others may add meaning to your life in various ways. Some may provide spiritual enrichment or a creative outlet. Some may seem easy, while others may be a constant struggle. 

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