behavior Archives - Page 10 of 11

January 7, 2017July 4, 2016 by Pete Wiley

Habit

We are what we do.

Each of us has activities, things we do day in and day out, over and over. Our habits become part of our psyche—part of our identity.

A famous statistic from Maxwell Maltz said that it takes a minimum of 21 days of doing something to make it a habit. Subsequent research suggests that it takes more like a minimum of two months and up to eight months before an activity becomes ingrained. So, if we want an activity to become part of our lives, we know what we have to do to make it happen.

However, knowing this is easier than doing it. We have to be motivated to do something day in and day out, for that long. To get that kind of motivation, we must have a clear image of how and why those activities should be part of our lives. That means that we should be able to consistently fit them into our routines and recognize what they will contribute to our happiness, health, or fulfillment.

November 26, 2016May 21, 2016 by Pete Wiley

Anger

Have you ever been so angry that you’re shaking? So angry that rationality goes right out the window? When you get angry, how do you handle it?

Angry people can be rational or irrational. Anger itself doesn’t have consequences, but acting on that anger does, and the consequences of those actions can be positive or negative.

Anger is designed to be a survival mechanism. When bad things happen to us, anger provides us with adrenalin along with a drive to overcome it. But how we define “bad thing” and what we mean by “overcome” is where we can run into trouble. When acting in anger, it would help to ask ourselves, “What do I hope to achieve?”

November 12, 2016February 26, 2021 by Pete Wiley

Desperate

Have you ever been truly desperate?

We all have had times in our lives when we’re desperate—feeling a longing so strong, it seems we will die if we don’t get what we want.

But desperation can come in many forms and for many reasons.

Someone who is about to die of dehydration is desperate for water. This kind of desperation is black and white. There’s no middle ground. There’s no way of interpreting the desire in any other way. It is desperation in its purest form.

Then there is the other extreme—those who feel they are desperate for material possessions or the latest technology. Although this may feel like desperation (and our brains can actually turn it into desperation), with a little perspective and soul searching, we can discover the true nature of these feelings.

in Emotions / Open Mind 1 comments

October 29, 2016April 23, 2016 by Pete Wiley

Movement

In a crisis, people react differently. Some have the urge to take action. This quality, combined with an instinct for knowing what is needed, can be an effective combination. But even those with great confidence can have doubts, and even the most effective people can be wrong.

Others may have the tendency to freeze up, or put off taking action, or take action that doesn’t solve the problem (or contribute toward the goal).

in Open Mind / Proactive 0 comments

October 1, 2016March 26, 2016 by Pete Wiley

Knowing

As I learn more and more, I feel like I know less and less. But to me, that is a positive thing.

Learning new things keeps life fresh, but it takes an open mind and a willingness to let go of our egos. So many of the problems in the world exist because one group of people thinks they know better than another group of people.

It’s OK to not know. In fact, “I don’t know” is a very underused and underappreciated expression.

In saying “I don’t know,” we’re not saying that we don’t have opinions or beliefs, or that we don’t know certain facts. We might be very well educated on an issue. But there’s always more to learn, and in learning, our perspective may change. We have to be open to that.

in Emotions / Open Mind 1 comments