Doing what's important

Make it Count—Doing What’s Important

Do you have time for the important things in your life? We all go through life doing what we do, what comes up in our day, and what others ask of us. Ideally, we also engage in pursuits we’re passionate about and things we would love to do when there is time. Invariably, none of us has time to do everything we want. It can be frustrating when you can’t find the time for something, but if you live a full life, there will always be things that spill over and don’t fit in. It’s important to ensure that your activities are based on your priorities, not those dictated to you. You have the choice, even if it doesn’t always seem that way.

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People are Different

People are Different—Embrace It

God, they’re irritating!

Everyone has people in their lives who get under their skin. It might be what they say or how they say it. It might be a behavior or habit they have. But nobody goes through life without someone who just irritates the hell out of them. But what can you do? Well, you do have choices. You can engage on their level or take the bait. You can be passive-aggressive regarding their behavior. You can also cut them out of your lives. But at the end of the day, people will be who they are, so you need to decide if you still want them in your life, and if so, you have to accept who they are.

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Own it

Your Vision for Who You Are—Owning It

Most people have a vision for who they are and how they live. This includes how they interact with others, how much they eat and drink, exercise, and sleep patterns. It also might include how much time they devote to their family, job, or passions. You won’t always live your life in a way that is entirely consistent with that vision—no one can—but how you react to missteps is key to making your vision realistic. If you constantly berate yourself over something you did or didn’t do, you’re making it more than it should be and denying part of who you are. If you incorporate imperfection into your vision, you will be much more likely to realize it.

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Response to irrational behavior

Out of the Sandbox—How to Respond to Irrational Behavior

We’ve all been there. You’re going along with your day, and suddenly, someone lashes out. It might be anyone—a friend, coworker, or family member—and it is totally unexpected. You don’t understand. You didn’t do anything wrong. The person is acting like a child. Your first reaction might be defensiveness—hopping right into the sandbox. You don’t realize that your reaction might also be seen as irrational. You try not to react right away. But then you repeat the person’s behavior repeatedly in your head and start fuming. 

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Sense of Self

Keeping your Sense of Self with Others

I just returned from an annual weekend in the woods with my college friends. We do this every year, and this year was our fortieth!! I (obviously) love spending time with those guys, and we know each other as well as friends can. We spend time catching up, “reveling,” making chili, and playing cards (pitch). For the duration of the event, we are with each other every moment. There are few people I would be able or willing to spend this much time with all in one go, but these guys are in that category. It is still a challenge, not because of anything they do, but because being with people generally is challenging for me—especially when it’s constant and for an extended time. The introversion voice is strong.

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