The Thorny Path of Irritability
It might start with a series of little things, or it might start with a big thing. There are many paths toward irritability, but you only take one. Once you’re down that path, you’re committed. The mood runs its course, and you have to ride it out. But the choice is yours whether to ride it out with eyes wide open or in a state of rage-fueled, self-righteous denial. Either way, irritability can ruin your day, making everything seem heavy and onerous. But even in this state, you have an opportunity to get to know yourself better.
It’s easy to be irritated
It’s all too easy to become irritated these days—if you let yourself. In response to these crazy times, I requested a rule in my house: no talking about news or politics after 5:00. If I have an evening of normalcy, I am much less likely to become irritated (and have a hope of a good night’s sleep). With the 24/7 flow of information, opinions, warnings, and doomsaying, most of us are on the verge of irritability (and anger, sadness, and anxiety). Add to this the stresses of everyday life, and it’s a wonder we’re all not constantly snapping at each other. Little things that would normally be no big deal gain the ability to set us off. Given this situation, maintaining awareness of your emotional state is so important.
Irritation sucks the joy out of life
Picture this: You’re so happy. You have a fun, exciting day planned that is full of friends, fun activities, and meaningful interactions. Then, a bomb drops. Something happens that irritates the hell out of you. You try to resolve the situation as best you can, but the damage has been done. At that point, other little things start irritating you, and worse, you’ve somehow lost your enthusiasm for the fun things you had planned. You don’t even want to do them anymore. But you go through the motions and have a weak, diluted version of the experiences you might have had.
Irritation and other negative emotions can cast a pall on everything you do, and it’s essential to be aware of how this happens—both how the feelings came about in the first place and how they are affecting your experiences.
Make time for serenity and happiness
Even in the worst of times, it’s important to make the time and space for happiness and peace. In times when it seems the world is coming off the rails, there will always be people, activities, and memories that bring you joy. To appreciate this joy, you must build a foundation of peace and serenity. No one can be irritated or angry all the time. It will ultimately eat you (and those around you) up. Making space for serenity and happiness starts with acknowledging (not accepting!) the elements in your life that make you irritated, angry, and anxious. Ideally, you can do this with a sense of the big picture and a healthy perspective.
Your response is in your control
You can’t always control circumstances and events or how you feel about them, but your response is entirely up to you. Imagine a scenario where you’re working on something challenging and just starting to make progress, but someone interrupts you—so frustrating!
But you have a few choices. One is to keep the big picture in mind. The person interrupting you doesn’t know what you’re doing and how it’s going. You can easily avoid going down the irritation path by communicating. Let the person know exactly why you can’t talk to them right now. Alternatively, you might decide that what you’re working on isn’t more important than engaging with the person. When my son interrupts me, my first reaction is often impatience, but then I remember that he won’t always live with me and want to talk to me. That perspective can really change the flavor of my day.
Irritation can be a fact of life. Plans get interrupted, people or events get in your way, and your day can be ruined. But another version of the day will take its place, and all you can do is make the best of the day you have.
