Negativity

Allow your joy to exceed anyone else’s negativity.

~Robbie Vorhaus

Just think of any negativity that comes at you as a raindrop falling into the ocean of your bliss.

~Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

What do we do when negativity rears its ugly head?

We can try to always be positive and optimistic, but we can’t control it when others are negative.

However, by categorizing others’ words or actions as negative, we necessarily attach our own judgments to them and actually contribute to those words or actions being negative. We feed their negativity.

But what about inconsiderate drivers, rude retail clerks, catty relatives, surly teenagers, arrogant coworkers (I could go on all day)? Aren’t these people’s words and actions inherently negative? Maybe, but it’s not that simple.

It’s always helpful to remember that there must be a motivation for any action. It might not always be apparent; some motivations are more obvious than others. The catty relatives may think they’re being helpful; the rude driver might be late to an extremely important meeting; the surly teenager might be awash with hormones and feelings that he or she doesn’t understand.

It’s also not that simple from our own perspectives. How we react can influence a situation negatively or positively. It’s like the Schrodinger’s cat of negativity. Until we react, the action might be considered both positive and negative. Our reaction might be the event that resolves it one way or the other.

If we take the action at face value and react negatively (argue with a rude retail clerk), the action is confirmed as negative and a negative path ensues. If we consider the possibility of a reasonable explanation or drown the other person in our positive aura, the negativity might be reversed and could result in a positive outcome for everyone. We may even influence the person’s outlook in the future.

I’m not suggesting that there aren’t rude or inconsiderate people in this world or that we should let them walk all over us. Rather, I’m suggesting that we don’t let those people affect our outlook. Our outlook is our responsibility, and trying to control the perceived negative actions of others is often a sure way to degrade it.

Listen to a person who’s in a bad mood or mad about something. How often is the frame of mind blamed on somebody or something else?

If you think about it, there is always something to be angry or upset about. There’s no lack of the unjust, the unfair, or the inequitable in this world, and so we have a choice. We can enter the fray of squabbling, blame, and the associated negative emotions or we can take the high road.

Does taking the high road mean ignoring rude, inconsiderate, or mean people? Absolutely not. It means not engaging on their level. It also means remembering what we are trying to achieve and figuring out the best way to achieve it. That usually doesn’t mean going to the mat with negative people on their terms.

Taking the high road also means never blaming anyone else for our own frame of mind. Our negativity is our own responsibility – no one else’s.

Negative people can only get inside our heads if we let them. We are the gatekeepers and it’s a job that we should take seriously.

It’s our choice.