Intentional Engagement—Healthy Existence in a Heartbreaking World

How can I live a normal, comfortable life with so much pain and suffering in the world? 

It’s a good question. For some, it’s a source of constant guilt and anxiety. A better (healthier) question might be: Am I doing what I can to decrease the pain and suffering in the world while still leading a fulfilling, meaningful life? The truth is that your suffering doesn’t stop others from suffering, while your working to decrease suffering does. You also might feel you don’t have the right to be happy while there is so much suffering in the world. That, too, begs the question of impact. Will you being miserable make others less miserable? So, how can you reconcile your life with the state of the world?

Emotional involvement

This question starts with how you react emotionally to stories of misery and pain. To play devil’s advocate for a moment, if someone were informed of every tragedy in the world and responded empathetically, that person would never be happy—ever. Some events hit us harder than others, such as those related to people we know or love, those that impact people we can identify with, or those described vividly in the news. These events hit us hard because they are right in front of our faces. Our reaction is normal and healthy. But beyond our immediate world, there is a vast misery that is hard to comprehend. For example, 

• One in ten people on the planet does not have access to safe drinking water (source: Children International).
• Two billion people live in conflict-affected areas (source: NPR).
• Ten percent of the global population does not have adequate food (source: World Food Program).

Just in writing this, I can’t help but be emotionally impacted. These statistics are truly heartbreaking. 

The truth is that you will react emotionally to these conditions, but it is still important to be intentional about your emotional health. You can’t control your emotional reaction but can manage your thoughts about situations and circumstances. You can (to a certain extent) direct where your thoughts go, and that can influence where your emotions go. 

I’m not advocating willful ignorance of the state of the world or not having an emotional reaction. I am suggesting that the best way to address these issues is from a place of emotional health—akin to placing the oxygen mask in a plane on yourself first so that you’re in a position to help others.

As depressing as it sounds, to engage in making the world better involves having a sense of perspective. The world can be a mean, cruel place involving much suffering and injustice. Of course, it’s infuriating. We know how to stop many of the world’s evils, but we (humans) simply don’t have the emotional maturity and wisdom as a species. We all have to learn to live with that. 

Intentional engagement

So, where does one start? 

Part of a meaningful life is trying to positively impact the world—to make the world a better place. That means being intentional about what you can do to improve bad situations. It’s something you have to fit in with your life alongside your career, your family, your health, and your relationships. 

Some feel guilty about not doing more, but keep in mind that a consistent effort that is sustainable in the long run is much better than “giving it all away” in a single burst of energy. Being intentional involves assessing what you can and can keep doing to have the most impact over time.

For some, donating money is something they can do that has an impact and doesn’t get in the way of their busy lives. There’s nothing wrong with donating money. Most efforts to remove some of the world’s misery need funding. But it’s also important to be involved in some way to understand what the organization you’re donating to is all about. Ideally, you can find some way to give of your time and money to make your efforts meaningful to you. Money is good, but money and involvement are better.

Getting involved in something you’re passionate about is also important. For some, that is providing for children; for others, it’s working toward peace. Take some time to reflect on what matters to you. What progress in improving the world would mean the most to you? Then, you can research organizations that work toward those ends and find a way to support and be involved in what they do.

Finally, you can make a big difference in your little slice of the world. I have a friend who takes some time each week to help people. If he sees someone stopped along the road, he offers to help. If he notices someone struggling, he finds a way to ease their struggle. It’s all about searching for opportunities to make someone’s life easier and better. They are easier to find than you might think, and often, jumping in to help isn’t that difficult for you but can make a huge difference in someone’s day.

Acknowledgment and gratitude

There’s nothing wrong with leading a fulfilling and comfortable life. It’s not something to feel guilty about. If you’re living a life that contributes to the world and has a positive influence, you absolutely should strive for fulfillment. Two keys to finding fulfillment and meaning in a heartbreaking world are acknowledgment and gratitude. 

• Acknowledgment. People who have had advantages in life that provided opportunities for living well, making a good living, and being healthy did not, in most cases, do something to deserve it more than others. They just happened to be born at the right time and place and in the right circumstances. Regularly acknowledging this fact will not only give you some perspective on the relative condition of your life and the lives of others, but it may also motivate you to engage in helping those without the same advantages.
• Gratitude. Much has been written about the benefits of gratitude. In this context, gratitude can improve your mental health and relationships, give you a better perspective on your life, and help you find ways to continue to be a positive influence—all against the backdrop of a heartbreaking world. Through gratitude, you can find peace. 

The first step in making progress in addressing the miseries of the world is acceptance. The world is what it is. It is possible to accept this fact while doing everything possible to change it. To give up on happiness and peace in your own life because it doesn’t exist in the lives of others will only serve to make you less able to be an agent for change. 

Strive for peace in you, and you will be better able to work for peace in the world.