December 21, 2024November 29, 2024 by Pete Wiley

A Home Within—Staying Grounded in Your Core Self

You are always at home. It may not always feel like it, but your home is not a place or a structure; it is deep within you. It is your core self. When you travel and are exposed to unfamiliar ideas and ways of life, you may feel homesick. But homesickness is just a separation from your core self. If you can get to know yourself deeply and genuinely, you can always feel at home, even while exploring the unfamiliar or moving outside your comfort zone. You can stay as one with your core self and always feel anchored to who you are in your heart.

Always be you

People often try to be more than they are, but ultimately, who you are is exactly who you need to be. You might feel uncomfortable, anxious, or overwhelmed in many situations or circumstances. You may be tempted to try to be more outgoing, more entertaining, or more charming. This is fine as long as you stay true to who you are at your core. Bringing your “A-game” when it is called for is great. But you will run into trouble when you try to play a part—creating a persona that isn’t consistent with who you really are. Everyone has versions of themselves that they need for different situations, but ideally, they are all manifestations of their core self.

People deal with discomfort in different ways. One way to tell that you’re not being yourself is if you’re acting fundamentally differently with others than when you’re alone. The person you are when you’re alone is the foundation of who you are, and that’s the person you need to keep track of and work on. That’s the person who all your other personas are based on. If you can learn how to be good at being alone, you can learn how to be good in any circumstance.

When your core self needs work

If you engage in self-destructive habits when you’re by yourself but not so much when you’re with other people, that’s a red flag. If your unhealthy behavior moderates because of what other people might think of you, you’re not working on yourself; you’re working on other people’s perceptions of you. If you find yourself drinking more, overeating, or smoking in secret, but you don’t do it in front of others, it’s a clear signal that you need to work on yourself. You need to examine your core self and work to make that the best version of yourself.

Feeling the need to be someone else

People bring some version of their core self to any situation. If your core self is quiet and not that talkative, you shouldn’t turn into a gregarious life of the party. If you do, it’s likely a reaction to awkwardness or discomfort. If a situation demands that you be somebody you’re not, you need to work to understand why you feel the need to be someone you’re not. This is not to say you shouldn’t try to be confident if you have self-doubt or be a good conversationalist if you struggle with talking to people you don’t know. But if you try to change who you are completely, you’ll come across as fake or insincere. Be yourself, but strive to improve yourself.

Keep your sense of home

You’ll be uncomfortable at some point in your life—everyone is— and that discomfort may make you behave in ways inconsistent with your core self. But if you can teach yourself to retain a foundation of the real you in any circumstance, you will always feel more comfortable and more at home regardless of the circumstances. You will always feel at home in your own skin and keep a sense of comfort no matter where you are or what you’re doing. You can always have a sense of home within yourself.

If you can be yourself and are comfortable being yourself, any version of your core self that you take into the world will be genuine and confident. Your home is within you—it will always be there.

~~~