Listen and Consider—Opening Up to Others’ Ideas

How attached are you to your opinions, ideas, and values? In some ways, they’re a part of who you are. They came to you through your experiences, influences, and effort. It’s easy to be defensive if any of these are questioned or challenged. You also may be very attached to a way of doing things, especially in a professional context. If you’ve thought through all the possibilities and consequences and worked hard to develop an approach, it may be challenging to hear opposing opinions or questions about whether yours is the right way to proceed. But the fact is, no matter how much work you’ve done, you likely have not considered all the alternatives or consequences. Others can bring their experiences and perspectives and ultimately make ideas stronger. Defensiveness, in any context, is usually indicative of a closed mind—an unwillingness to consider options.

Listening to alternative perspectives

When your path seems clear—when you have a way forward that makes perfect sense, is promising, and fills you with excitement—it can be hard to hear a voice that could take you off of that path. It can be easy to be impatient and irritable; you want to keep moving forward. Defensiveness comes from a place of impatience but can also come from a place of doubt. You may think you’re confident in your plan and path, but doubt may creep in if you hear something that could cast questions or challenge them. To counter that doubt, you enter a denial state expressed through an ardent defense of your perspective. You become dismissive of alternative views and try to shoot them down as soon as possible. 

An alternative to this approach is active listening. Taking the time to listen to other perspectives  with patience and focus can improve your plans or path. Rather than immediately developing a retort to another’s view, explore what they are saying with your full attention. Take it in and let it take hold in your psyche. You may still disagree, but you’ve given it the attention it deserves.

A process for open-mindedness

Open-mindedness shouldn’t be vague or abstract. It can and should be a specific and explicit part of your outlook and mindset. Being open-minded involves being open to, and reflecting on a range of ideas, even if they’re counter to your perspective or opinion. Open-mindedness allows you to see how other ideas fit in with your values and goals and assess whether they’re constructive, productive, or positive. Once you’ve done this, you can return to your original approach, make an honest comparison, and evaluate the idea using specific criteria, such as success, happiness, or logic. 

You can also incorporate open-mindedness into your approach in a professional setting. An example is recruiting people from outside the scope of your work to provide opinions. If you’re closed-minded, you might feel that the people you recruit don’t know anything about this work, so why would you want to hear them? A fresh perspective may help you see things uniquely or catch problems or weaknesses you might miss. 

A mindset of openness

Being open to a range of ideas and perspectives can have a wealth of benefits to your growth and your mindset. When closed-minded, we deny ourselves whole worlds of other ideas. And not only the ideas but the energy, actions, and personalities that come with these ideas. Closing yourself off from perspectives different than yours and those of like-minded people also keeps you from learning and growing. It denies the excitement of mental and emotional discovery and adventure and keeps you in a static state of non-growth. But because it’s more natural to stay in your comfort zone, many people, even those who can be open-minded, don’t take advantage of their potential for learning and growth. They are “selectively closed-minded.” 

Being open-minded doesn’t mean you must agree with or accept every idea. It merely means listening to ideas and considering what they mean to you. 

Being open-minded is a gift you can give to yourself—the gift of a diverse wealth of ideas and perspectives that can enrich your life.

Artwork: stellalevi