people Archives - Page 4 of 6

October 30, 2021October 21, 2021 by Pete Wiley

Divisions—Finding a Way Back from the Brink

Social media is bad for society.

Oh, sure, it has resulted in some good outcomes. Families are able to keep in touch more easily and share pictures of their latest adventures. Old friends can reconnect and have a sort of correspondence, when otherwise they might not have. People are able to be creative and share their creations with the world. But people can also group into like-minded factions, feed on each other’s fears and paranoia, and only acknowledge the information that supports their own perspectives. Social media has supported and sustained the divisions that exist in our society. It has so much potential for good, but social media is like any other tool—it’s only as good as the people whose hands wield it.

Large-Souled. A painting of a large-souled person with an aura around them.

October 16, 2021April 30, 2021 by Pete Wiley

Large-Souled and a Privilege to Know

Some people are larger than life. They seem to loom large over every interaction we have with them, not because they try to be dominating or because they are necessarily smarter or more talented than anyone else, but because they have a special presence. What is it about these people that makes them so special? They may have attractive attributes, such as intelligence or empathy, but (in my experience) they also may not. They may be successful in life, but they also may be living an “average” life—one that is not particularly accomplished or high profile. I call these people “large-souled,” meaning they have a significant presence in the universe. We may identify different people as being in this category depending on the way we interact with people. Maybe some people don’t recognize this category of people at all or mistake good looks, success, wealth, or charisma for a large soul. I’ve always felt drawn to the large-souled and have aspired to be one myself. Because the qualities of these people aren’t effable, this can be difficult.

Present. Couple being present with each other while having coffee on a couch.

January 30, 2021January 29, 2021 by Pete Wiley

Here and Now—Being Fully Present with People

What does it mean to be fully present when you’re with people?

When we’re with other people, our minds can wander, as they do during any other activities. But with people, there’s the added dimension of what the other person is thinking. It can be challenging to follow the dynamic of both minds and how they engage. In conversation, for example, some people are naturals, while for others, it can be a struggle. But being an easy conversationalist doesn’t always translate to being aware of and intentional about the dynamic between us and other people. A meaningful encounter with someone doesn’t even have to involve talking. When two people are completely present when they’re together, there’s a whole other level of engagement that can involve conversation, but it also involves body language, empathy, and mood. It can be incredibly meaningful.

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Recharge. Young woman enjoying a fresh air on the mountain during summer morning.

October 10, 2020October 13, 2020 by Pete Wiley

Recharge versus Retreat—Making Time Alone Meaningful

We all need time to ourselves—time to rest, recharge, and reflect.

But it’s important to distinguish between finding meaningful alone time (see “Alone”) and escaping from our connections or retreating from our engagements. All of us, even the most extroverted, have times when we don’t have any more energy for people. We also need time to ourselves to gain perspective on what is happening in our lives and to plan for our futures. This time is not only important for our mental health, it’s also a critical aspect of a meaningful and fulfilling life. We have to have time to ourselves to truly get in touch with what we’re after and where we’re going, to maintain our connection with who we are at our cores, and tounderstand our values and passions. BUT we have to make sure we have a healthy balance and aren’t avoiding people or problems when we need to engage.

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Blank Slate. From nothing, a new image of a butterfly emerges.

August 29, 2020August 30, 2020 by Pete Wiley

Assume Nothing—The Benefits of a Blank Slate

All of us see and use patterns.

It’s how we get through life. If we didn’t assume people would behave a certain way or that the world wouldfollow physical laws or that our cars would work the same way, we would never get through the day. We would spend all our time experimenting—figuring out how things worked and how they responded to our interaction.

On the other hand, our assumptions about how things work can impede our ability to discover new things. Our need to see patterns can lead to a habit of seeing them where they may not exist. Patterns can be very helpful, but we should avoid assuming a pattern or some other condition if the potential for learning something new or different exists. Things aren’t always as they seem.

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