Today, I’m honored to share something that’s been years in the making: the publication of my book, Civil Living: Finding Civility In Society, In Our Interactions, and Within Ourselves (link). Civil Living is a series of essays that represent a deep and ongoing exploration of how we live, relate, and show up in a world that often feels anything but civil.
When you make close friends, especially when you’re young, they click easily and are fun and carefree. There may be drama, and some friendships won’t last, but they aren’t hard work for the most part. But as you gain years and experience, you also gain insights and opinions and become more set in your ways. You may disagree more with old friends or find certain characteristics irritating or puerile. You may even question why you’re still friends. But I’ve got news for you: people may feel that way about you, too. Long-term friendships are valuable and rare; don’t dismiss any long-term relationship as not worth the effort without serious reflection and thought.
Most people have parts of themselves that are hard to fathom. You might know someone who is friendly and gregarious but needs to have time to themselves. Someone might seem sympathetic and compassionate, and suddenly, you see a cruel or aggressive side. Rarely is someone’s complete makeup painted with the same stroke. That’s what makes people interesting—and hard to predict. It’s very likely the same is true for you. If you look within yourself, you will likely find parts that are incongruous with how you or others think of you. Understanding these aspects of your makeup will give you peace and help you choose a path consistent with those dichotomies.
Humans are pretty disappointing as a species. Yes, we’ve made technological advances and created artistic marvels, but have we really evolved? In this context, I’m not talking about evolution in the Darwinian sense. I’m using the word generally to describe a balanced progression of the human species that will keep us alive and thriving. While we have seen gains in some areas, there have not been coinciding advances in critical aspects of human nature, such as wisdom and compassion. Without these, we are seriously at risk. We will eventually be doomed due to our passions, combined with our technology. Of course, there are sagacious and compassionate people in this world, but they aren’t involved enough in charting our course as a species or making decisions.
Everyone has a right to their secrets. We all have ideas, passions, and emotions constantly streaming through us. Some are dark and would hurt people in our lives if they were known. Some of them may be embarrassing and cause us to feel guilty and ashamed if they were known. Your psyche belongs to you. […]