Personal growth can happen in many ways, but it is difficult to attain in isolation. Growth often occurs when we challenge ourselves, remain open to other people’s ideas and values, and explore the edges of our own comfort zones. All of these paths have an internal component, but they also involve engagement with others. To benefit fully from these experiences, you must be intentional about both the inner work and the connections that help shape it.
Life gets hectic. It’s easy to focus on the details and minutiae of your daily life and neglect the truly important aspects. People make to-do lists and schedules, and they have goals and ambitions. They plan their days around these elements and consider themselves unavailable for other possibilities. On the surface, this is fine; it’s good to be organized and manage your time well. On the other hand, it’s also possible to be too rigid. If something unrelated to your work or goals comes up, it’s easy not to give it a second thought and conclude that you have no available time.
Today, I’m honored to share something that’s been years in the making: the publication of my book, Civil Living: Finding Civility In Society, In Our Interactions, and Within Ourselves (link). Civil Living is a series of essays that represent a deep and ongoing exploration of how we live, relate, and show up in a world that often feels anything but civil.
Do you have time for the important things in your life? We all go through life doing what we do, what comes up in our day, and what others ask of us. Ideally, we also engage in pursuits we’re passionate about and things we would love to do when there is time. Invariably, none of us has time to do everything we want. It can be frustrating when you can’t find the time for something, but if you live a full life, there will always be things that spill over and don’t fit in. It’s important to ensure that your activities are based on your priorities, not those dictated to you. You have the choice, even if it doesn’t always seem that way.
I just returned from an annual weekend in the woods with my college friends. We do this every year, and this year was our fortieth!! I (obviously) love spending time with those guys, and we know each other as well as friends can. We spend time catching up, “reveling,” making chili, and playing cards (pitch). For the duration of the event, we are with each other every moment. There are few people I would be able or willing to spend this much time with all in one go, but these guys are in that category. It is still a challenge, not because of anything they do, but because being with people generally is challenging for me—especially when it’s constant and for an extended time. The introversion voice is strong.