How much time do you spend getting to know people? Not just what they did over the weekend and how their kids are doing, but really trying to get a feel for who they truly are and what drives them. Most interactions take place on a very surface level. We engage in small talk or interact on the basis of what we’re intending to accomplish, and the rest is often just minimal politeness. There’s nothing wrong with a pleasant passing of the time, but if we become closer with people, we might have deeper conversations and get to know them better. We can learn to guide our interactions based on that knowledge and those insights. However, unless we make a consistent effort to get to know people andincorporate that knowledge into our interactions with them, we aren’t taking advantage of opportunities for much more meaningful and rewarding relationships.
Throughout our lives, we have the opportunity to encounter an enormous variety of activities and experiences. Some may seem out of reach—either because we feel we’re not talented enough or because it would be too hard to become proficient. Maybe we feel we wouldn’t enjoy it or that it’s out of our comfort zone. But the fact is, these reasons are just excuses. We won’t really know if something is possible unless we try.Trying something doesn’t mean making a long-term commitment. We can try activities in the short term and see if we have an aptitude for it or if we enjoy it. On the other hand, we shouldn’t stop doing something without giving it a chance—it might grow on us or we might enjoy it once we get some experience and get even a little bit better.Ultimately, the more things we try, the more likely it will be that we will find our passion.
Life is a journey. It contains many twists and turns and can be fraught with challenges, risks, and frustrations. It’s daunting to think about life as one big journey, but that’s okay because it is also made up of a multitude of mini-journeys. Like any significant endeavor, it’s helpful to break it up into manageable pieces. In focusing on the mini-journeys, you may also find nuances you otherwise might not have seen. To reverse the old saying, you might miss the trees for the forest. But changing your mindset and embracing your mini-journeys takes intentionality and open-mindedness. It’s easy to engage in business as usual and lose sight of the opportunities along your path. You have to stop, consider, and build an awareness of how you might proceed with your journey and what mini-journeys that will entail.
How attached are you to your opinions, ideas, and values? In some ways, they’re a part of who you are. They came to you through your experiences, influences, and effort. It’s easy to be defensive if any of these are questioned or challenged. You also may be very attached to a way of doing things, especially in a professional context. If you’ve thought through all the possibilities and consequences and worked hard to develop an approach, it may be challenging to hear opposing opinions or questions about whether yours is the right way to proceed. But the fact is, no matter how much work you’ve done, you likely have not considered all the alternatives or consequences. Others can bring their experiences and perspectives and ultimately make ideas stronger. Defensiveness, in any context, is usually indicative of a closed mind—an unwillingness to consider options.
The people you know are not the same people they were when you met.
People change—sometimes little by little, in subtle ways, and sometimes dramatically—but, ultimately, we all change all the time. We have to be open to changes in the people we know—even those we have known intimately or for a long time. If we expect people to stay the same, we will invariably be disappointed or confused. We also have to be open to changes within ourselves. If we find ourselves wondering why we aren’t reacting the same way to what is happening to us, it is because we are experiencing life as evolving, growing people. We constantly respond to the events in our lives in different ways, whether we know it or not. Once we embrace this fact, we will be able to handle life’s twists and turns with a sense of wonder and excitement instead of worry and foreboding.