Think back on those magical times in your life—when you were just oozing with joy and excitement. What was it about those moments that made everything feel magical? It seems sometimes that we live our lives for those moments, and, having experienced them, the rest of our lives seems very ordinary by comparison. We may try to recreate those times, but we’ll find that what we create is not the same because a lot of what made them special was who we were at the time. Does this mean that, as we move through our lives, there will be less and less magic? The answer is no, but we have to be more intentional about finding and seeing it. When we’re younger, many of our experiences are new, and we’re engaging in things for the first time, so our magical moments happen naturally. With each experience we have, the likelihood of new experiences goes down, but the good news is that it only goes down by a very small amount, as long as we continue to pursue and are open to the magic that is happening all the time.
What does it mean to be fully present when you’re with people?
When we’re with other people, our minds can wander, as they do during any other activities. But with people, there’s the added dimension of what the other person is thinking. It can be challenging to follow the dynamic of both minds and how they engage. In conversation, for example, some people are naturals, while for others, it can be a struggle. But being an easy conversationalist doesn’t always translate to being aware of and intentional about the dynamic between us and other people. A meaningful encounter with someone doesn’t even have to involve talking. When two people are completely present when they’re together, there’s a whole other level of engagement that can involve conversation, but it also involves body language, empathy, and mood. It can be incredibly meaningful.
We all have narrators for our lives.
A regular stream of thoughts is something very natural and normal that most of us have. If managed intentionally, it can be a welcome and insightful companion. However, if given free rein, it can be a ceaseless heckler, a neurotic worrier, or a naysaying Eeyore (or any combination of the above). It is important to remember that our streams of thoughts are not reality, nor do they even reflect reality. The only reality is our moment-to-moment existence and experience. Our thought streams are also not who we are. We aren’t characters in our stories who have to follow the plots, we are the creators of the stories.
Everything we have, everything we know, and everyone we love will someday be gone. We will all be gone someday too.
Permanence is a delusion, and although the idea of permanence can sometimes be comfortable—making us feel secure and stable—it can also make us unprepared for the changes in our lives.
If we feel we can maintain our lives just the way they are in any given moment, we will invariably be frustrated and disappointed.
How much of our lives is spent waiting for something to end?
The car ride while commuting to work, a boring meeting, waiting for a doctor or a flight—how many things fall into the category of waiting for time to go by?
At other times in our lives, we feel like we don’t have enough time; we have to prioritize and squeeze things in. Sometimes, we feel like we never have a moment to ourselves to decompress and regroup.
This dichotomy in our perception of the passing of time is not necessary. To address it, we have to pay attention to our wandering brains and direct them where to go.