choice Archives - Page 12 of 12

January 7, 2017July 4, 2016 by Pete Wiley

Habit

We are what we do.

Each of us has activities, things we do day in and day out, over and over. Our habits become part of our psyche—part of our identity.

A famous statistic from Maxwell Maltz said that it takes a minimum of 21 days of doing something to make it a habit. Subsequent research suggests that it takes more like a minimum of two months and up to eight months before an activity becomes ingrained. So, if we want an activity to become part of our lives, we know what we have to do to make it happen.

However, knowing this is easier than doing it. We have to be motivated to do something day in and day out, for that long. To get that kind of motivation, we must have a clear image of how and why those activities should be part of our lives. That means that we should be able to consistently fit them into our routines and recognize what they will contribute to our happiness, health, or fulfillment.

August 20, 2016February 21, 2016 by Pete Wiley

Path

Are you headed in the right direction?

Are your journey and your desired destination likely to make you happy?

Did you chart your own path, or is it a product of circumstances? Do you have control over your path?

That last one is a biggie. It may seem that our paths are out of our control, that we are destined to continue with our lives the way we have been and that deviations aren’t possible. We may feel trapped.

In some cases, we are wedded to certain aspects of our lives. We make commitments, we have responsibilities, and we have people to whom we have to answer. But if we take those as foundations on which we can build a life that is flexible (as much as possible), fun, fulfilling, and meaningful, we may find that we have more control over our paths than we originally thought.

May 28, 2016December 8, 2015 by Pete Wiley

Time

What is the most valuable commodity?

Plutonium? Diamonds? Platinum?

I bet many people would say that it’s time.

Yes, I know—time is not technically a commodity, but we often treat it like one—we save it, trade it, and consume it.

How do we respond to all the demands on our time?

Some people treat it as a public good, or as something that is available on a first-come, first-served basis, to anyone. They give of their time freely, to whomever asks for it. Although that approach can produce some interesting results, most of us have too many responsibilities to be able to give away our time so generously.

in Mindful / Proactive 0 comments

May 14, 2016November 19, 2015 by Pete Wiley

Choice

None of us ever has to do anything.

Of course there are many things we should do, even things we’re required to do. But we don’t have to do any of them.

So many of us get into patterns that make us feel like we don’t have any free will, but that is an illusion.

We all have responsibilities. We all have choices that, in our minds, are not really choices at all.

Each of us has a particular lifestyle. When we are faced with choices that, on their surface, seem inconsistent with our lifestyles, we tend to dismiss them out of hand. This attitude puts artificial boundaries on our lives that limit our experiences and close our minds.

in Open Mind / Proactive 1 comments

February 6, 2016January 19, 2016 by Pete Wiley

Worry

Everyone, from Alfred E. Newman on, seems to offer advice about how to handle worry. But at some point or another, we all do it.

Nobody makes a conscious choice to worry. It’s a very unpleasant feeling, and it generally doesn’t fix the problem. It can also rob us of our peace of mind.

Everyone worries, but by recognizing it for what it is and acknowledging the effect it has on us, we can minimize those effects. In my experience, once I recognize and accept a negative feeling, it brings it out into the light of day, and this somehow makes it less scary.

in Emotions / Proactive 2 comments