Today, I’m honored to share something that’s been years in the making: the publication of my book, Civil Living: Finding Civility In Society, In Our Interactions, and Within Ourselves (link). Civil Living is a series of essays that represent a deep and ongoing exploration of how we live, relate, and show up in a world that often feels anything but civil.
What are the ingredients of a meaningful life? The simple answer is finding something personally meaningful to you. But, of course, it’s not that simple. It’s vital to understand how endeavors are meaningful to you. What do they give you? How do they make you feel? There are several ways to consider this. One is that an activity fills you with pride and makes you feel good about yourself and how you spend your time. Another is having a positive impact on the world and making a difference. A third is discovery or developing a deeper understanding of something. A meaningful life may be related to your career, a hobby, or how you interact with people. There are many ways to find meaning in your life.
When you make close friends, especially when you’re young, they click easily and are fun and carefree. There may be drama, and some friendships won’t last, but they aren’t hard work for the most part. But as you gain years and experience, you also gain insights and opinions and become more set in your ways. You may disagree more with old friends or find certain characteristics irritating or puerile. You may even question why you’re still friends. But I’ve got news for you: people may feel that way about you, too. Long-term friendships are valuable and rare; don’t dismiss any long-term relationship as not worth the effort without serious reflection and thought.
Humans are pretty disappointing as a species. Yes, we’ve made technological advances and created artistic marvels, but have we really evolved? In this context, I’m not talking about evolution in the Darwinian sense. I’m using the word generally to describe a balanced progression of the human species that will keep us alive and thriving. While we have seen gains in some areas, there have not been coinciding advances in critical aspects of human nature, such as wisdom and compassion. Without these, we are seriously at risk. We will eventually be doomed due to our passions, combined with our technology. Of course, there are sagacious and compassionate people in this world, but they aren’t involved enough in charting our course as a species or making decisions.
When something ends—a relationship, a passion, a job—we often characterize the experience as a failure. It may have had periods where it was magical and unique, but we emphasize that it is over and how painful that is. Instead of focusing on the wonderful experiences and special memories, we only think about the end and the pain and regret that come with it. It’s important to remember that everything will eventually end, and with the proper perspective, you can make the ending as meaningful as the experience itself.