A good friend of mine died recently, and I was confused about how I handled it. It was a shock for sure, as his passing was unexpected. But then, because he wasn’t part of my day-to-day life, the feeling wore off quickly. I felt guilty that I was getting on with my life so fast. Death affects us in different ways and depends on a variety of factors, but it will always be a part of our lives. We all have to experience it; like anything else, it’s healthy to do it intentionally.
No one in your life has to be there. This concept can be challenging for some to comprehend, and cutting some people, such as family, out of your life can seem impossible and extreme. But everyone has had experiences with toxic people—people who are poison to them. These people are not just frustrating or irritating. They are toxic—they poison your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. You may feel that you have a responsibility toward them. In some cases, that’s true—but it’s essential to examine the context for those responsibilities and explore ways to remove them, partially or entirely, from your life. You may still care about them and want them to be happy, but they can no longer be in your life.
A friend and I were having a light conversation this past weekend around a fire pit, and a subject came up on which we disagreed. He and I differ in our opinions that largely follow political leanings. We had never talked about it, but I had heard him say some things that made his politics reasonably clear. When he said something that I disagreed with, my first reaction was, “Oh, shit, there goes the relaxed atmosphere.” But then I thought, “Why can’t we have an honest disagreement and not make it personal or political?” It is possible, although seemingly less and less achievable these days. So I gave it a shot. In a very polite way, I said that I was in favor of something that he thought was wrong. And a miracle happened! He said, “Well then, we should agree to disagree,” noting that he hated how hard it was to do that these days. It was fantastic. We dropped the subject and got on with our enjoyable evening.
So many people try to find stability in their lives and keep things going as they have been. They like to have a familiar routine, the same friends, and the same activities. There’s nothing wrong with this. Long-lasting relationships, routines, and traditions give people a sense of belonging, a feeling of home, and comfort. But it’s also essential to have the unfamiliar in your life. I know that doing different things and interacting with new people can provide a healthy jolt to the old psyche. I recently left a very long-term job and now work full-time on Blocks of Life. This experience has led me down a wonderful path filled with exploration and discovery. It literally fuels my dreams, which are constantly filled with new and different things because I’m always doing new and different things.
Holidays can be rough. Hectic schedules, finding gifts, family drama—it can be overwhelming. Stress is a common side effect of a season that is meant to be happy, celebratory, and fun. But where does that stress come from? It’s different for different people but may include unreasonable expectations, social anxiety, or loneliness. Instead of feeling joy, many end up feeling irritable, sad, or disappointed and can’t wait for it all to be over. But the holidays can be the joyful, exciting, and magical time they’re meant to be with just a few tweaks of your perspective.