Fitting It in or Filling the Hours—Our Perception of Time

I’ve spent most of my life with every moment spoken for. I’ve had to really work to make time for meditation, exercise, and other self-care activities. This was good. I chose that lifestyle, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Most of the time I enjoyed being in the fray—I like the feeling of being part of something and working hard with like-minded people toward a shared goal. I like being an active part of my son’s life and spending my evenings and weekends coaching baseball. I enjoy my hobbies, thinking and writing about leading a meaningful life, playing music, reading, and wood sculpting, but all these together left no room for downtime.

Again, this was a choice (and one that I would make again), but I never expected or wanted it to last forever. I always envisioned a time when I would have more time—to reflect, to get more serious about my physical fitness and grace, to build a more solid awareness of the universe and my place in it, and to explore new challenges. This involved a significant change in the way I perceive time. Because time is something I’ve never had enough of, I’ve always treated it as a scarce commodity—something I have to be careful with. So, whenever I did something that took significant time, such as reflection or meditation, I used to get antsy—like I was wasting my time. It’s important to develop an awareness of how we perceive time so that our relationship with time is appropriate for our lifestyle and our experiences.

Time is not an absolute experience

Our perception of time can change depending on our context and experience. We’ve all had periods in our lives when time seems to fly and periods when time crawls along. These are usually correlated with how enjoyable a time we’re having. When we’re doing something we love, especially if it doesn’t happen very often, we want to stay in those moments forever, but time seems to go by quickly. If we’re bored or are having some other kind of unpleasant experience, we want to get through the experience as quickly as possible, but often time goes by very slowly. People’s normal perception of time can also be different, regardless of what they’re doing. Some people are just filling the hours—they work, then they watch TV or surf the internet. There’s nothing organized or intentional about how they spend their time. Others, who are more mindful generally, pay attention to each moment in time, and for them, time passes more consistently no matter what they’re doing.

My relationship with time

Before my son went to college, my time demands were nuts. I literally had to steal precious minutes here and there just to stop and breathe. Again, this situation was chosen, but that’s the way it was. After he went to college, one would have thought that I would have lots of freed-up time. All that time spent coaching was now mine to do with as I wished. But I chose to fill my time buckets back up. I took on new activities and explored new experiences. Very quickly I was back to never having a free moment. During the pandemic, I didn’t have to drive to work and I didn’t travel for work. Again, one would have thought I would have lots of time on my hands. But it seems that everyone in my professional niche had a need to fill that time—all with worthy activities: project meetings, touching base to check in on staff, checking in on the social upheaval and what we can do about it—but again, time buckets filled back up. My summer vacation at first seemed unnecessary because I was at home all the time, but in this case the vacation did not have a spatial destination, it had a temporal destination. It was about exploring an existence in which time had a different meaning. It was about exploring my relationship with time and seeing if I could find a happy balance.

And it worked! We had time together as a family (mostly exercising and eating), I had time for meditation and yoga, and on top of that, we had discretionary time during which we could do whatever we felt like (which very often was filled with watching baseball games). I also paid attention to how time passed, and because we were being intentional, it didn’t seem to pass quickly or slowly. It just passed. I decided that should be my goal, to be intentional enough about time that I am mindful of it and pay attention to how it is used.

Time is the present moment

Time is not something to kill, nor is it something to be hoarded. Ideally, time is always just the present moment. If we can learn to live in time by being present in the moment, our entire relationship with time will change. We’ll rarely, if ever, feel either bored or rushed. Instead, we’ll feel a connection to the time as it passes by, living in each moment in time to the fullest.

This moment in time is where you are—it is where you will always be.

~~~

Artwork by DALL-E