People are Different—Embrace It

God, they’re irritating!

Everyone has people in their lives who get under their skin. It might be what they say or how they say it. It might be a behavior or habit they have. But nobody goes through life without someone who just irritates the hell out of them. But what can you do? Well, you do have choices. You can engage on their level or take the bait. You can be passive-aggressive regarding their behavior. You can also cut them out of your lives. But at the end of the day, people will be who they are, so you need to decide if you still want them in your life, and if so, you have to accept who they are.

We are all unique individuals

One of the wonderful things about people is that we’re all different. You won’t find anyone who thinks, talks, and behaves exactly as you do. And thank goodness for that; how boring would that be? Our differences make life interesting. It’s also essential in our day-to-day interactions to expect people to think differently and have different opinions. They are not you. They can’t read your mind, nor would they want to. So, you will have times when other people, who are just being themselves, say or do something you disagree with, don’t understand, or irritate you. 

Don’t try to change people

I have someone very close to me who has worries and opinions—lots of them. In any situation, I can count on two things: 1. She will be worried about many of its details, and 2. She will have opinions about how to fix those details. This can be, well… irritating, exasperating, irksome, infuriating… and comforting. It simultaneously makes me think she can’t trust me to tie my shoes and that she cares deeply about things. I am willing to accept the former as long as the latter continues. The bottom line is that no matter how irritating it is, it won’t change, so why get hung up on it? She is who she is. 

I can tell her if something she says hurts my feelings or is insulting. That is perfectly reasonable because I’m talking about me. I’m describing how I feel. I may or may not change how she behaves, but I will have been truthful with her and made our interaction more genuine.

Don’t be afraid to push back, with empathy

Disagreements are good. They mean you’re exploring the respective ideas and opinions of others and how they relate to yours. When someone gets under your skin, it’s helpful to remember that they are unique with their own views and ideas. But it’s also essential to retain the right to disagree. But how you disagree is critical. Just as you can’t change who they are, you should have no apologies for being who you are and expressing your opinions and reactions. That being said, it’s important to incorporate empathy into your response. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and think about their feelings, given their experiences and personality. 

Be yourself and allow other people to be themselves, too. You’ll both be better off.