Your Vision for Who You Are—Owning It
Most people have a vision for who they are and how they live. This includes how they interact with others, how much they eat and drink, exercise, and sleep patterns. It also might include how much time they devote to their family, job, or passions. You won’t always live your life in a way that is entirely consistent with that vision—no one can—but how you react to missteps is key to making your vision realistic. If you constantly berate yourself over something you did or didn’t do, you’re making it more than it should be and denying part of who you are. If you incorporate imperfection into your vision, you will be much more likely to realize it.
Cringe-worthy moments
You might be hard on yourself when you deviate from your vision and think back on moments that make you cringe. You might wallow in regret and self-loathing. This is not only unhelpful, it will also make your vision harder to achieve. Any action you take that goes against your vision is an opportunity. Your vision may be limited to a specific path with little flexibility. These moments of deviation can allow you to broaden your vision, or if they were something you really want to avoid, you can reflect on how they happened—what was going through your head and in your heart. You can learn to recognize those moments before they happen.
But it’s important not to reflexively categorize those moments as negative. Something in you created those moments; just because they weren’t consistent with what you envisioned doesn’t mean they’re wrong. Another reaction might be: “This is who I am. This is what I do and say. If someone doesn’t like it, that’s their problem.”
Love yourself
A personal vision is developed from a range of feelings, ambitions, and influences. There is a significant distinction between an ideal vision and a genuine and realistic vision. For example, you might envision yourself as a smooth and engaging conversationalist, but in reality, you have many awkward moments and conversational quirks. You might have developed the former, idealized version of your conversational style, with the impression that people will respect and be drawn to you, but in reality, the latter realistic version sets people at ease and provides a sense of fun and amusement. It’s more consistent with a natural, genuine person.
The trick is learning to embrace your quirks and foibles. They are part of what makes you who you are. Learn to love yourself, quirks and all.
Own it or own up to it
Your goal should be to reflect on all your actions in the context of your identity. What you do and say is who you are. Your words and actions may not always be exactly what you wanted or intended, but they came from you and reflect who you are. Embrace that identity and everything that comes with it. This doesn’t mean you won’t have regrets or do and say things you wish you hadn’t, but you should own these instances in terms of what you learned about yourself and how you behave in various situations. Treat yourself with self-love and compassion as you continue to evolve as a person.
Everything you do, everything you say, is part of you. Own it, even if it was contrary to your vision. You will either assimilate it into your vision or learn from it moving forward.
