Life is a journey. It contains many twists and turns and can be fraught with challenges, risks, and frustrations. It’s daunting to think about life as one big journey, but that’s okay because it is also made up of a multitude of mini-journeys. Like any significant endeavor, it’s helpful to break it up into manageable pieces. In focusing on the mini-journeys, you may also find nuances you otherwise might not have seen. To reverse the old saying, you might miss the trees for the forest. But changing your mindset and embracing your mini-journeys takes intentionality and open-mindedness. It’s easy to engage in business as usual and lose sight of the opportunities along your path. You have to stop, consider, and build an awareness of how you might proceed with your journey and what mini-journeys that will entail.
Do you consider yourself rebellious? There is an intensity to the word rebellion that suggests a significant and robust opposition. To me, it also indicates a solitary position—of being alone in opposition to something. From the perspective of personal identity and growth, any mindset or behavior that goes against expectations can be an act of rebellion. These may be as important as moving away from expectations that have been ingrained since childhood or as simple as a fashion statement. However, none are insignificant. When you act in a way that is true to your essential self and away from societal or personal expectations, you act rebelliously in the most healthy way. It will help you grow, find confidence, and give your life more meaning.
How attached are you to your opinions, ideas, and values? In some ways, they’re a part of who you are. They came to you through your experiences, influences, and effort. It’s easy to be defensive if any of these are questioned or challenged. You also may be very attached to a way of doing things, especially in a professional context. If you’ve thought through all the possibilities and consequences and worked hard to develop an approach, it may be challenging to hear opposing opinions or questions about whether yours is the right way to proceed. But the fact is, no matter how much work you’ve done, you likely have not considered all the alternatives or consequences. Others can bring their experiences and perspectives and ultimately make ideas stronger. Defensiveness, in any context, is usually indicative of a closed mind—an unwillingness to consider options.
What does it mean to get past something or get over something—a tragedy, for example? It doesn’t mean that it’s not with you anymore. It doesn’t mean you didn’t learn from it. It means that you’ve somehow put it past you to some degree. This might mean that you’ve been able to get back to some semblance of a normal routine. It might mean that it isn’t dominating your emotional state anymore. Moving beyond an event means incorporating that experience into your lifetime of lessons and insights. It’s about gaining a heightened perspective on yourself and how you interact with your world. It’s about transcendence.
The people you know are not the same people they were when you met.
People change—sometimes little by little, in subtle ways, and sometimes dramatically—but, ultimately, we all change all the time. We have to be open to changes in the people we know—even those we have known intimately or for a long time. If we expect people to stay the same, we will invariably be disappointed or confused. We also have to be open to changes within ourselves. If we find ourselves wondering why we aren’t reacting the same way to what is happening to us, it is because we are experiencing life as evolving, growing people. We constantly respond to the events in our lives in different ways, whether we know it or not. Once we embrace this fact, we will be able to handle life’s twists and turns with a sense of wonder and excitement instead of worry and foreboding.
