Pete Wiley, Author at Blocks of Life

Indifference. Painting of a figure shut off from the world.

May 13, 2023April 6, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Why Should I Care? The Nature of Indifference

When we swat a mosquito, we don’t necessarily have any hostility toward it or its actions; we are indifferent. We are merely getting rid of an annoyance. That may be our attitude toward a great many things in the world—we don’t give them much thought, and we don’t care that much, if at all. For us to care about something, it must have some kind of emotional connection to us. We must have a reason for feeling something, positive or negative, about it and how we interact with it. Sometimes our indifference is affected for a purpose, sometimes it is genuine. Sometimes indifference is intentional, while sometimes it is due to a lack of awareness. Sometimes we are aware, but there is no emotional connection—there is no common frame of reference that would make us care. We can know something or someone well but still be indifferent due to how little they are involved in our lives. And, in the same way that we should be aware of why we have strong emotions about something, we should be aware of when and why we don’t.

April 29, 2023March 30, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Who’s in the Driver’s Seat?—Understanding Our Motivations

Each of us makes many choices every day. Some of them are commonplace (what will I have for breakfast?), while some are weighty (should I look for a new job?). All of our choices have consequences, some of which we know and take into account and some of which we’re unaware of or in denial about. It’s important that we understand why we make the choices we do (all of them) and the relationships between their potential consequences and our motivations. Our paths in life are driven by our motivations, and the clearer the pictures we have of what drives us down our paths, the better able we will be to sit squarely in the driver’s seat. It can be so easy to switch on cruise control and go wherever the road takes us based on what is visible through the windshield. But if we take the time to really understand where we want to go—what we want from life—and map out a route to take us there, we’ll be much more likely to make choices that are consistent with that path.

April 15, 2023March 30, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Understanding Intimidation—Why We Are Intimidated and How to Handle It

We all get intimidated from time to time, even the most confident among us. Sometimes we are intimidated for good reason, and the feelings of fear, anxiety, and apprehension are important survival tools. Other times, we are intimidated by bullies, and learning their psychology and motivations can help us to deal with those situations. But there are also times when we are intimidated by well-meaning people who, for some reason, scare us, make us nervous, or put us off our game. It is important to understand all of these sources of intimidation, where they come from, and why and how they affect us.

in Emotions / Proactive 0 comments

April 1, 2023March 23, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Fitting It in or Filling the Hours—Our Perception of Time

I’ve spent most of my life with every moment spoken for. I’ve had to really work to make time for meditation, exercise, and other self-care activities. This was good. I chose that lifestyle, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Most of the time I enjoyed being in the fray—I like the feeling of being part of something and working hard with like-minded people toward a shared goal. I like being an active part of my son’s life and spending my evenings and weekends coaching baseball. I enjoy my hobbies, thinking and writing about leading a meaningful life, playing music, reading, and wood sculpting, but all these together left no room for downtime.

Again, this was a choice (and one that I would make again), but I never expected or wanted it to last forever. I always envisioned a time when I would have more time—to reflect, to get more serious about my physical fitness and grace, to build a more solid awareness of the universe and my place in it, and to explore new challenges. This involved a significant change in the way I perceive time. Because time is something I’ve never had enough of, I’ve always treated it as a scarce commodity—something I have to be careful with. So, whenever I did something that took significant time, such as reflection or meditation, I used to get antsy—like I was wasting my time. It’s important to develop an awareness of how we perceive time so that our relationship with time is appropriate for our lifestyle and our experiences.

in Mindful / Open Mind 0 comments

March 18, 2023March 23, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Emotional Wisdom — Understanding Where Your Emotions Take You

Each of us has a constant stream of emotions, but how many of us are aware of that stream and fully understand where our emotions come from and how they affect our lives?

It’s easier for more extreme emotions. We might get excited and happy before we’re about to travel. This kind of emotion bubbles up inside us, and our awareness of it is unavoidable. The same can be said for extremely negative emotions, for example when we suffer the loss of a loved one. In these times, we would do anything to escape the pain we are feeling. It overwhelms us, and we aren’t able to think about anything else. Our full awareness is caught up in our painful emotional stream. But what about times when we don’t feel overwhelming emotions? What about our day-to-day emotional context and how it affects our outlook and actions? It is possible to be fully aware of these emotions too. It’s not only possible; it’s a necessary step in living our lives to the fullest. Our emotional context is a driver for every decision we make, every word we speak, and every action we take. If we can become fully aware of this layer of our psyche, we can live our lives more intentionally and purposefully, and if we can take the next step and develop insights into our emotional stream—if we can see how our emotions are likely to evolve—we can live with a keen sense of identity and direction.

in Emotions / Mindful 0 comments