Need Archives - Blocks of Life

May 11, 2024March 18, 2024 by Pete Wiley

Time Apart is Key to Meaningful Time Together

It’s hard to be away from those we love. We may feel longing or loss. We may even think that we aren’t a significant part of the other person’s life—that you’re not on their mind or in their heart anymore. While these feelings are natural, it’s important not to let them diminish the fact that you are your own person—independent and strong. It may not always feel that way, but each of us has an independent person inside us, needing nurturing and care—not from another person, but from ourselves. If you are always with another person, you may rely heavily on that other person for your identity and emotional state, which can lead to an unhealthy reliance on that person. This can become chronic and damaging. Some couples or friends spend a lot of time together in very healthy ways. But if you become emotionally dependent on the other person, that’s a problem.

Indifference. Painting of a figure shut off from the world.

May 13, 2023April 6, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Why Should I Care? The Nature of Indifference

When we swat a mosquito, we don’t necessarily have any hostility toward it or its actions; we are indifferent. We are merely getting rid of an annoyance. That may be our attitude toward a great many things in the world—we don’t give them much thought, and we don’t care that much, if at all. For us to care about something, it must have some kind of emotional connection to us. We must have a reason for feeling something, positive or negative, about it and how we interact with it. Sometimes our indifference is affected for a purpose, sometimes it is genuine. Sometimes indifference is intentional, while sometimes it is due to a lack of awareness. Sometimes we are aware, but there is no emotional connection—there is no common frame of reference that would make us care. We can know something or someone well but still be indifferent due to how little they are involved in our lives. And, in the same way that we should be aware of why we have strong emotions about something, we should be aware of when and why we don’t.

June 25, 2022June 23, 2022 by Pete Wiley

How Urgent is Urgent? Understanding the Pressures in Your Life

For many of us, a disruption can be like a test of how legitimate a sense of urgency is. In our daily routines, busyness and urgency can become a permanent state. You have tasks, you have meetings, people count on you and so you must get the job done—now. If your schedule gets derailed, you may begin to feel overwhelmed and anxious. I’m falling behind! All this is coming due now! You work late nights and weekends. You get it all done, but you somehow still feel behind. That lingering sense of pressure never really goes away. Some feelings of urgency are from specific timelines and due dates. These are necessary aspects of the working world and are needed to coordinate and work collaboratively. However, many of these are a bit arbitrary and are not associated with a specific need to complete a task by a certain time.

in Emotions / Proactive 1 comments

Large-Souled. A painting of a large-souled person with an aura around them.

October 16, 2021April 30, 2021 by Pete Wiley

Large-Souled and a Privilege to Know

Some people are larger than life. They seem to loom large over every interaction we have with them, not because they try to be dominating or because they are necessarily smarter or more talented than anyone else, but because they have a special presence. What is it about these people that makes them so special? They may have attractive attributes, such as intelligence or empathy, but (in my experience) they also may not. They may be successful in life, but they also may be living an “average” life—one that is not particularly accomplished or high profile. I call these people “large-souled,” meaning they have a significant presence in the universe. We may identify different people as being in this category depending on the way we interact with people. Maybe some people don’t recognize this category of people at all or mistake good looks, success, wealth, or charisma for a large soul. I’ve always felt drawn to the large-souled and have aspired to be one myself. Because the qualities of these people aren’t effable, this can be difficult.

in Emotions / Mindful 0 comments

Foundations. Woman meditating in the mountains.

May 15, 2021May 7, 2021 by Pete Wiley

Foundations—Building Your Life from the Ground Up

As we move through our lives, most of us are working to make our lives better: happier, healthier, and more meaningful. We may work on these elements consistently, or we may follow fads and have multiple false starts along the way. In the midst of our busy lives, it can be quite challenging to pay attention to what is needed to achieve our most basic goals in life. But without accomplishing these goals, we are considerably less likely to achieve our more lofty ones. How many of us pay attention to the foundation needed to work on those basic goals—the elemental pieces of a happier, healthier, more meaningful life? It’s not complicated—eat right and exercise, get plenty of sleep, keep your stress level down—but it is onerous. It takes discipline, proactivity, an open mind, and consistency. We have to be intentional about our foundations or they will not happen. Although everyone’s foundation may be slightly different, we all have basic requirements that include sleep, nutrition, exercise, and mental/emotional health. Many would also add spirituality to this list. But whatever our foundation consists of, it’s important to be specific and intentional and follow through on our goals for each of these elements.

in Open Mind / Proactive 0 comments