Life can be inconsistent. Why do you sometimes feel like you’re buried in baggage and history, and sometimes you can move forward unfettered? The difference can be how interesting your work or life activities are. You may be involved in what you perceive to be cumbersome pursuits, while at other times your life can be interesting and exciting. Sometimes the difference is purely psychological. During the times you feel weighted down, you may feel there is no escape from the narrow tunnel you’re in. You may feel there are forces in play that keep your life in constant drudgery, and you aren’t able to defeat them. At other times, even when engaged in the same activities or tasks, you feel energized and invigorated. The work seems light and even fun. If you could figure out the difference between these two scenarios, would it be possible to always keep it fresh?
I’ve spent most of my life with every moment spoken for. I’ve had to really work to make time for meditation, exercise, and other self-care activities. This was good. I chose that lifestyle, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Most of the time I enjoyed being in the fray—I like the feeling of being part of something and working hard with like-minded people toward a shared goal. I like being an active part of my son’s life and spending my evenings and weekends coaching baseball. I enjoy my hobbies, thinking and writing about leading a meaningful life, playing music, reading, and wood sculpting, but all these together left no room for downtime.
Again, this was a choice (and one that I would make again), but I never expected or wanted it to last forever. I always envisioned a time when I would have more time—to reflect, to get more serious about my physical fitness and grace, to build a more solid awareness of the universe and my place in it, and to explore new challenges. This involved a significant change in the way I perceive time. Because time is something I’ve never had enough of, I’ve always treated it as a scarce commodity—something I have to be careful with. So, whenever I did something that took significant time, such as reflection or meditation, I used to get antsy—like I was wasting my time. It’s important to develop an awareness of how we perceive time so that our relationship with time is appropriate for our lifestyle and our experiences.
So many of us engage in activities to get a reaction, or to make money, or to feel loved. But what are the things you do because you love doing them? What do you do just for yourself—because it gives you pleasure or is meaningful?
Our motivations for what we do with our lives are worth exploring. They can provide a filter through which we can evaluate how we spend our time and may lead us toward a more rewarding set of activities. For example, we all have to make a living—that is a key motivator for most people—but would you pursue your career if money were not a factor? If not, how else would you spend your days?
What you do with your time outside your job should be as important and intentional as your work. Are you just filling the hours, or are you getting something back? What activities would you engage in even if you didn’t get any external, positive benefit? What activities do you do just for you?
Each of us has a vision—the ideal version of our lives.
But what you may not realize is that your overall vision is made up of your day-to-day and moment-to-moment visions. If you can make those mini-visions become real, your overall vision will take care of itself.
In this context, I’m not talking about a major life goal to accomplish or milestones to achieve. I’m talking about what you want your life to be—the ideal version of how you live, how you feel, and what you think. While this does, of course, relate to your accomplishments, it is more about your approach and outlook than about the particulars. How you engage with and interpret all of the people, circumstances, and events along your path will define both your reality and your vision. As much as it feels like many of those elements are out of your control, they’re not. It can be difficult to not let them drive your outlook, but through intentional living, it is possible.
Think back on those magical times in your life—when you were just oozing with joy and excitement. What was it about those moments that made everything feel magical? It seems sometimes that we live our lives for those moments, and, having experienced them, the rest of our lives seems very ordinary by comparison. We may try to recreate those times, but we’ll find that what we create is not the same because a lot of what made them special was who we were at the time. Does this mean that, as we move through our lives, there will be less and less magic? The answer is no, but we have to be more intentional about finding and seeing it. When we’re younger, many of our experiences are new, and we’re engaging in things for the first time, so our magical moments happen naturally. With each experience we have, the likelihood of new experiences goes down, but the good news is that it only goes down by a very small amount, as long as we continue to pursue and are open to the magic that is happening all the time.
