Blocks of Life

Recharge. Young woman enjoying a fresh air on the mountain during summer morning.

October 10, 2020October 13, 2020 by Pete Wiley

Recharge versus Retreat—Making Time Alone Meaningful

We all need time to ourselves—time to rest, recharge, and reflect.

But it’s important to distinguish between finding meaningful alone time (see “Alone”) and escaping from our connections or retreating from our engagements. All of us, even the most extroverted, have times when we don’t have any more energy for people. We also need time to ourselves to gain perspective on what is happening in our lives and to plan for our futures. This time is not only important for our mental health, it’s also a critical aspect of a meaningful and fulfilling life. We have to have time to ourselves to truly get in touch with what we’re after and where we’re going, to maintain our connection with who we are at our cores, and tounderstand our values and passions. BUT we have to make sure we have a healthy balance and aren’t avoiding people or problems when we need to engage.

Escape. Woman in the woods moving toward the sun.

September 26, 2020January 20, 2020 by Pete Wiley

Living a Life from Which We Don’t Need Escape

Do you feel good about your life?

Are you generally excited about your days (or at least something about your days)? Do you feel the activities that make up your days have elements that are meaningful, fulfilling, and fun? When many consider their day-to-day lives, they may think about them as something to get through—something to endure until they can get on with the fun or meaningful part of their lives. Something they have to do until they can escape.

But it’s possible to build a life from which we don’t need to escape—a life that gives us what we need. But it takes some effort, and it requires us to be intentional, open-minded, and creative.

Desire. Woman facing the complexity of her desire.

September 12, 2020December 22, 2019 by Pete Wiley

Desire—Understanding our Idealized Lives

Desire is a funny thing.

It can be the driver for our greatest accomplishments, and it can be the cause of our personal downfalls. It can be a source of strength and courage, and it can be a significant weakness. Many of us will think first of romantic desire, but desire can be many things—some healthy and some not so healthy. Desire is like an amped-up version of “want.” When we desire something, it is more ingrained in ourselves, in our identities.

in Emotions / Mindful 4 comments

Blank Slate. From nothing, a new image of a butterfly emerges.

August 29, 2020August 30, 2020 by Pete Wiley

Assume Nothing—The Benefits of a Blank Slate

All of us see and use patterns.

It’s how we get through life. If we didn’t assume people would behave a certain way or that the world wouldfollow physical laws or that our cars would work the same way, we would never get through the day. We would spend all our time experimenting—figuring out how things worked and how they responded to our interaction.

On the other hand, our assumptions about how things work can impede our ability to discover new things. Our need to see patterns can lead to a habit of seeing them where they may not exist. Patterns can be very helpful, but we should avoid assuming a pattern or some other condition if the potential for learning something new or different exists. Things aren’t always as they seem.

in Mindful / Open Mind 0 comments

No apologies. Woman being her true self.

August 15, 2020December 16, 2019 by Pete Wiley

No Apologies—Being Serious about Being You

Just be yourself.

This is advice we may get when we are children. It implies that if you just be yourself, people will see that you’re genuine and will like you. Parents often offer related encouragement, like “You’re a great person” or “You’re really funny.” But the main point is that you should be yourself regardless of your admirable qualities because ultimately, you can’t successfully be anyone you’re not.

When we’re born, we are truly ourselves. There is no purer version of ourselves we can be. When we’re tired, hungry, scared, angry, or happy, there is no filter between those feelings and our identity. When children grow up, they may start to experiment with different identities and personas. They notice the personalities of their friends, siblings, and parents and start to mimic some of their personality traits. As many people continue to grow up, gain confidence, and become comfortable in their own skin, they are able to truly understand themselves and who they are and embrace their identity.

in Open Mind / Proactive 0 comments