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November 26, 2022November 28, 2022 by Pete Wiley

Parts of a Whole—Understanding Who You Are

It’s the middle of the night, and you wake up as a different person. You’re still you, but part of you is missing. The part of you that is confident in your life and your path is missing, and what is left is a mess of doubts, fears, and worries, with maybe even a healthy dose of self-hatred. Why is it that there are times in our lives when we are happy, confident, and energetic and other times, maybe even the same day, when all of that seems stripped away, or replaced by its negative twin? It may happen when we can’t sleep in the middle of the night, or when we’re commuting, or when we’re alone for any length of time. It’s important to know why this happens and what we do when it does happen.

September 3, 2022September 5, 2022 by Pete Wiley

Celebrating Milestones—A Time to Pause and Reflect

My family makes a big deal about birthdays. We decorate the house for my son’s birthday in July, and keep it decorated right through my wife’s birthday in mid-September (mine is in early September). Like many anniversaries, birthdays are just ways to count another year going by (and an opportunity to eat and drink well!). But milestones go beyond tracking time and having celebrations. For many, they have a deeper meaning. They honor an auspicious occasion and/or allow us to recognize the significance of others’ presence in our lives. They’re also great opportunities to take stock of our lives—where we’ve been and where we’re going. To me, milestones are important, and reflecting on them contributes significantly to giving my life meaning.

August 6, 2022August 4, 2022 by Pete Wiley

How to Be Friendly in a Divisive World (and Why)

It’s so hard to be nice these days.

And why would I want to be? People seem to be looking out for only themselves, and they’re nasty about it. Common courtesy seems to be rapidly disappearing from our interactions, and disagreements seem to quickly devolve into personal attacks. It’s us and them, and there can be no civility if we happen to be on the wrong side.

How can we be friendly in such an environment—and why would we want to be? The answer is both simple and complicated. We can always be friendly. If you’re a friendly person, you can (and should) continue to be friendly, even when it seems the world’s just not a friendly place. If you’re not a friendly person, you should try it out: It’s a pleasant way to live your life.

Maybe the harder question is why would you want to be friendly? Why would I want to be friendly to a group of people whose worldview is off kilter and who are so unfriendly to me? The answer to this one is a bit more complicated, but ultimately, the answer is because that is the only way we (society) will move beyond the divisiveness and begin to act civilized again. It’s the only way to turn the corner.

in Open Mind / Proactive 1 comments

Reinterpret pain. A woman is working to stop the suffering associated with her pain.

February 27, 2021April 26, 2020 by Pete Wiley

Pain Interpretation—Separating Pain from Suffering

All of us feel pain at some point in our lives.

Most of us experience moderate pain, and some of us have to endure chronic, intense pain for extended periods. Pain is there for a reason—to warn us of harm, to let us know that something is wrong, or to stop us from doing further damage. It’s generally not pleasant, and is sometimes difficult or impossible to endure. But pain and suffering are not the same thing. Pain is a signal, and suffering is our reaction to it. In some cases, it’s possible to control or reinterpret that reaction and decrease or cease our suffering. It’s certainly easier said than done, and it may not work for everyone or in every circumstance, but it’s worth exploring.

in Emotions / Mindful 0 comments

Tidal Talking. Two people engaging in mindful interaction.

November 9, 2019November 6, 2019 by Pete Wiley

Tidal Talking—The Importance of Mindful Interaction

We talk to people all the time.

Although technology has resulted in a decrease in the amount of communication that happens in person, it is still a critical aspect of how we interact. When something is important or sensitive, we handle it face to face.

But how many of us are skillful in the art of conversation—not just small talk, but meaningful conversation that transcends the narratives in our head and the need to steer the conversation to our benefit?

in Mindful / Open Mind 0 comments