Blocks of Life

March 4, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Embracing the Mini-Journeys in the Big Journey of Life

Life is a journey. It contains many twists and turns and can be fraught with challenges, risks, and frustrations. It’s daunting to think about life as one big journey, but that’s okay because it is also made up of a multitude of mini-journeys. Like any significant endeavor, it’s helpful to break it up into manageable pieces. In focusing on the mini-journeys, you may also find nuances you otherwise might not have seen. To reverse the old saying, you might miss the trees for the forest. But changing your mindset and embracing your mini-journeys takes intentionality and open-mindedness. It’s easy to engage in business as usual and lose sight of the opportunities along your path. You have to stop, consider, and build an awareness of how you might proceed with your journey and what mini-journeys that will entail.

February 18, 2023February 19, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Perseverance—Sustaining the Life You Want

You have something really good going. You’re happy. You’re proud. You’re excited. But then, just like that, you can’t keep it up. Somehow the old patterns reappear, and you find yourself wondering how you were able to start down the golden path to begin with, and how you were able to stay on it, even just for a little while.

Developing good habits and keeping away from bad habits seems so simple on the surface. We have free will. If we want to do something (or stop doing something), we should just do it (or stop doing it). What’s preventing us? The answer is complex and multifaceted. There are many forces in our lives that drive us toward or away from certain behaviors. It’s important to recognize this fact and do everything we can to understand those forces and how they affect us. We also have to recognize our strengths and weaknesses that help or hinder our ability to overcome these forces to enable us to work effectively toward getting on, and staying on, the path we desire.

February 4, 2023February 3, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Pure Poison—Offloading the Toxicity in Your Life

Poisons are the people, things, or situations you know are bad for you, yet they remain in your life. You likely have some poison in your life—everyone has. You may be one of the lucky ones who can recognize those situations right away and take decisive action. Or, like me, you rationalized, denied, or had an uncontrollable urge to keep them in your life. Most of these toxic elements in your life have their upside. They made you feel good in some way—at least in the short term, and that good must be intensely good because it is compelling you to live with the extreme negative aspects or consequences. The good part also may be a “potential good” or just imagined—a carrot just out of reach that never comes closer. The fundamental question is, why do you keep these poisons in your life? Why do you subject yourself to their ravages?

in Emotions / Proactive 1 comments

January 21, 2023January 21, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Rebellion—Embracing Your Essential Self

Do you consider yourself rebellious? There is an intensity to the word rebellion that suggests a significant and robust opposition. To me, it also indicates a solitary position—of being alone in opposition to something. From the perspective of personal identity and growth, any mindset or behavior that goes against expectations can be an act of rebellion. These may be as important as moving away from expectations that have been ingrained since childhood or as simple as a fashion statement. However, none are insignificant. When you act in a way that is true to your essential self and away from societal or personal expectations, you act rebelliously in the most healthy way. It will help you grow, find confidence, and give your life more meaning.

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January 7, 2023January 5, 2023 by Pete Wiley

When Little Emotions Lead to Big Emotions—And What to Do About It

It all starts with something small.

Don’t use so much water when you do the dishes!
Now, I know how to do the dishes. I’ve been doing the dishes since I was seven (it was one of my childhood chores), but for the sake of argument, let’s say I’ve been doing them every other day since I was 21. That’s 6,387 times I’ve done the dishes (a conservative estimate, as I sometimes do them several times a day, or every day for stretches). I’ve never had a dishwasher. I know how I like to do them. Maybe I do run more water than some, but I also do them faster, as I’m not waiting for a trickle of water to clear off the soap. And if that’s my luxury in life, it’s really not too much to ask. There is no regional water shortage—in fact, it’s been raining like crazy. We’re paying extra for the water—estimated at an extra $6 per month—but it’s money I’m perfectly willing to spend to do the dishes my way.

If you’re of the crazy opinion that this is something fairly small to be testy about and I’m being defensive, then you’re right (it’s one of the very few things my wife and I “argue” about). But it does make me irritable. How does something so small turn into something that impacts my emotional state? Why can’t I just say “that’s the way I like to do the dishes” and be done with it? The answer is precisely because it’s so small—I don’t feel the need to have a big discussion over it, so I let it get to me. These small, inconsequential emotions become bigger emotions that impact my overall emotional state.

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