Proactive Archives - Page 8 of 31

October 1, 2022September 30, 2022 by Pete Wiley

Your Core Self—Values and What They Mean for Your Life

Who you are and how you engage with the world can be influenced by a variety of factors. These may include your needs, what you want to achieve, the influence of others, and your reactions to events. But the most significant driver of your identity and behavior should be your own values and worldview. For some, these might be, to some extent, influenced or even dictated by authority figures, e.g., parents, religion, or other individuals or groups with a creed or specific set of values that you have been expected to follow. However, it is important to live according to your own values and be true to yourself. Only by doing this can you live genuinely.

September 3, 2022September 5, 2022 by Pete Wiley

Celebrating Milestones—A Time to Pause and Reflect

My family makes a big deal about birthdays. We decorate the house for my son’s birthday in July, and keep it decorated right through my wife’s birthday in mid-September (mine is in early September). Like many anniversaries, birthdays are just ways to count another year going by (and an opportunity to eat and drink well!). But milestones go beyond tracking time and having celebrations. For many, they have a deeper meaning. They honor an auspicious occasion and/or allow us to recognize the significance of others’ presence in our lives. They’re also great opportunities to take stock of our lives—where we’ve been and where we’re going. To me, milestones are important, and reflecting on them contributes significantly to giving my life meaning.

August 6, 2022August 4, 2022 by Pete Wiley

How to Be Friendly in a Divisive World (and Why)

It’s so hard to be nice these days.

And why would I want to be? People seem to be looking out for only themselves, and they’re nasty about it. Common courtesy seems to be rapidly disappearing from our interactions, and disagreements seem to quickly devolve into personal attacks. It’s us and them, and there can be no civility if we happen to be on the wrong side.

How can we be friendly in such an environment—and why would we want to be? The answer is both simple and complicated. We can always be friendly. If you’re a friendly person, you can (and should) continue to be friendly, even when it seems the world’s just not a friendly place. If you’re not a friendly person, you should try it out: It’s a pleasant way to live your life.

Maybe the harder question is why would you want to be friendly? Why would I want to be friendly to a group of people whose worldview is off kilter and who are so unfriendly to me? The answer to this one is a bit more complicated, but ultimately, the answer is because that is the only way we (society) will move beyond the divisiveness and begin to act civilized again. It’s the only way to turn the corner.

in Open Mind / Proactive 1 comments

July 9, 2022July 5, 2022 by Pete Wiley

Past the Holy Grail—Looking Beyond That One Thing

I’ve had several times in my life during which I can only think about one thing. Everything else was relegated to brief attention when absolutely necessary. These “one things” included romantic interests, upcoming trips to new and interesting places, and life transitions. During these periods, my focus is unmatched, and my will is extremely strong. I find ways to mold reality into what I want it to be. I manipulate circumstances and people (mostly in positive ways) to ensure that my goals are achieved. These periods in life are exciting and truly meaningful, but they can also be fraught with anxiety, stress, and desperate longing. These are the moments when you feel most alive, existing with overwhelming intensity. However, during these times, you tend to lose perspective, as all that can be seen is the object of your attention. This state can make you highly effective, but it can also chip away at your mental and physical health. You seek your holy grail, and in your mind, it’s that one thing that can bring you happiness and fulfillment

in Open Mind / Proactive 0 comments

June 25, 2022June 23, 2022 by Pete Wiley

How Urgent is Urgent? Understanding the Pressures in Your Life

For many of us, a disruption can be like a test of how legitimate a sense of urgency is. In our daily routines, busyness and urgency can become a permanent state. You have tasks, you have meetings, people count on you and so you must get the job done—now. If your schedule gets derailed, you may begin to feel overwhelmed and anxious. I’m falling behind! All this is coming due now! You work late nights and weekends. You get it all done, but you somehow still feel behind. That lingering sense of pressure never really goes away. Some feelings of urgency are from specific timelines and due dates. These are necessary aspects of the working world and are needed to coordinate and work collaboratively. However, many of these are a bit arbitrary and are not associated with a specific need to complete a task by a certain time.

in Emotions / Proactive 1 comments