Proactive Archives - Page 29 of 33

December 10, 2016May 30, 2016 by Pete Wiley

Experience

What’s on your to-do list today?

Whenever I get too busy, I think about how my experiences shape who I am.

It is very easy for busy people to become their to-do lists or to base their identities on how they meet their responsibilities. Sometimes our experiences seem out of our control—we do what we have to. However, if our experiences define who we are, it is important for us to retain some control over those experiences.

Often our plans for any given day are made up primarily of those things we feel we have to do. Although that designation (what we have to do) is a bit of a misnomer (see “Choice”), let’s assume we all have things that need to be done given the choices we’ve made.

October 29, 2016April 23, 2016 by Pete Wiley

Movement

In a crisis, people react differently. Some have the urge to take action. This quality, combined with an instinct for knowing what is needed, can be an effective combination. But even those with great confidence can have doubts, and even the most effective people can be wrong.

Others may have the tendency to freeze up, or put off taking action, or take action that doesn’t solve the problem (or contribute toward the goal).

October 15, 2016April 17, 2016 by Pete Wiley

Expectations

What do you want from life? What do you expect to achieve?

These are important questions, and we should have ready answers. We might say we know what we want; we all have dreams and goals. But if we’re honest with ourselves about whether we actually expect to get those things, we may live our lives more intentionally.

Most of us can easily articulate what we want in abstract terms—health, happiness, and meaning—but we should also be able to give more concrete answers. The specific things we want and expect from life should be related to our more general goals.

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August 20, 2016February 21, 2016 by Pete Wiley

Path

Are you headed in the right direction?

Are your journey and your desired destination likely to make you happy?

Did you chart your own path, or is it a product of circumstances? Do you have control over your path?

That last one is a biggie. It may seem that our paths are out of our control, that we are destined to continue with our lives the way we have been and that deviations aren’t possible. We may feel trapped.

In some cases, we are wedded to certain aspects of our lives. We make commitments, we have responsibilities, and we have people to whom we have to answer. But if we take those as foundations on which we can build a life that is flexible (as much as possible), fun, fulfilling, and meaningful, we may find that we have more control over our paths than we originally thought.

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August 6, 2016February 21, 2016 by Pete Wiley

Pain

Pain hurts.

No one wants pain in their lives, but we all have it. If we didn’t have pain, we probably wouldn’t have much joy. Creating happiness in our lives involves taking risks—including the risk of pain. Ultimately, if we can find a balance between pain and joy, we have had a life worth living.

There are different kinds of pain, and it can come from different sources. There is physical pain, the pain of unfulfilled desire, the pain of loss, the pain of regret. Some might say that these are different kinds of pain—in how they feel and in how they manifest—but to me, they are very similar. Intense emotional pain hurts just as deeply as any physical pain we might endure.

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