Proactive Archives - Page 26 of 31

March 18, 2017March 15, 2017 by Pete Wiley

Beginnings

Have you ever found yourself going down a path that you know isn’t right?

We may feel we’re stuck on that path, that the events that led us here will lead us relentlessly in the same direction.

We may feel that we’ve messed up, or dropped the ball, and that we can’t escape the consequences.

I’ve had several times in my life when I knew (or later realized) that I was on the wrong path—that I had done, or was still doing, something stupid (smoking, staying in unhealthy relationships, making poor choices). But I was shortsighted or pigheaded or oblivious—or a combination of the three.

Woman volunteering at community soup kitchen

March 4, 2017March 12, 2017 by Pete Wiley

Action

Walking the walk and talking the talk.

Do you act on what is important to you, or are your values more of a feeling?

I write a lot about values, thoughts, and emotions, but what does all this mean in terms of how we interact with the world? Does it translate into a foundation for our actions?

What we do on a day-to-day basis matters. Taking the extra step when it’s consistent with our worldview or values is important.

In our busy society, we are constantly working the margins of time management. We try to make every second matter so that we can add to our stock of available time (see time). We get irritated if we lose a few seconds at a stoplight or if we have a slow driver in front of us. With this mind-set, it can be hard to take advantage of unscheduled opportunities to act on our values and to step up when we see a need.

Woman driving a convertible car at the beach.

February 4, 2017February 6, 2017 by Pete Wiley

Drive

Who’s in the driver’s seat?

Who (or what) drives our actions, decisions, and thoughts?

Some people go through their lives firmly in the driver’s seat. They know what they want and they do what it takes to get there. But even the most self-assured people have others who guide them, advise them, or otherwise influence them. They may be in the driver’s seat, but there is usually someone else in the car with them.

On the other extreme are people who are just along for the ride. Someone else is (or a series of people are) in the driver’s seat, and they may not even know where the car is going. These people might lack the confidence to make their own decisions or may be susceptible to manipulation or control. They are drawn to others who have strong visions even if they don’t share them, because the others provide them with a sense of direction, which they would otherwise lack. Although there is nothing inherently wrong with this—some people are just naturally more comfortable in a supportive role—it is important for us to move our lives in ways that we understand and approve of. Even if someone else is driving, we should be aware of the route and destination.

in Emotions / Proactive 0 comments

January 7, 2017July 4, 2016 by Pete Wiley

Habit

We are what we do.

Each of us has activities, things we do day in and day out, over and over. Our habits become part of our psyche—part of our identity.

A famous statistic from Maxwell Maltz said that it takes a minimum of 21 days of doing something to make it a habit. Subsequent research suggests that it takes more like a minimum of two months and up to eight months before an activity becomes ingrained. So, if we want an activity to become part of our lives, we know what we have to do to make it happen.

However, knowing this is easier than doing it. We have to be motivated to do something day in and day out, for that long. To get that kind of motivation, we must have a clear image of how and why those activities should be part of our lives. That means that we should be able to consistently fit them into our routines and recognize what they will contribute to our happiness, health, or fulfillment.

in Mindful / Proactive 0 comments

December 10, 2016May 30, 2016 by Pete Wiley

Experience

What’s on your to-do list today?

Whenever I get too busy, I think about how my experiences shape who I am.

It is very easy for busy people to become their to-do lists or to base their identities on how they meet their responsibilities. Sometimes our experiences seem out of our control—we do what we have to. However, if our experiences define who we are, it is important for us to retain some control over those experiences.

Often our plans for any given day are made up primarily of those things we feel we have to do. Although that designation (what we have to do) is a bit of a misnomer (see “Choice”), let’s assume we all have things that need to be done given the choices we’ve made.

in Mindful / Proactive 0 comments