Most people have parts of themselves that are hard to fathom. You might know someone who is friendly and gregarious but needs to have time to themselves. Someone might seem sympathetic and compassionate, and suddenly, you see a cruel or aggressive side. Rarely is someone’s complete makeup painted with the same stroke. That’s what makes people interesting—and hard to predict. It’s very likely the same is true for you. If you look within yourself, you will likely find parts that are incongruous with how you or others think of you. Understanding these aspects of your makeup will give you peace and help you choose a path consistent with those dichotomies.
I’ve always hated the phrase, “Things happen for a reason.” I much prefer the perspective of opportunity. When people experience a loss, it’s important to process the event as a loss. An event causes pain, and to deny that pain is to deny that part of yourself and inhibit your ability to process the pain. At the same time, a painful event can change the nature of your life. Your existence is based on a certain order of things: your emotional landscape, your connections, your livelihood, and your activities. If one of these is altered or removed, you will move toward a new order of things. This process may be arbitrary, or if you’re intentional, the process can be based on the direction you want to go.
It might start with a series of little things, or it might start with a big thing. There are many paths toward irritability, but you only take one. Once you’re down that path, you’re committed. The mood runs its course, and you have to ride it out. But the choice is yours whether to ride it out with eyes wide open or in a state of rage-fueled, self-righteous denial. Either way, irritability can ruin your day, making everything seem heavy and onerous. But even in this state, you have an opportunity to get to know yourself better.
When something ends—a relationship, a passion, a job—we often characterize the experience as a failure. It may have had periods where it was magical and unique, but we emphasize that it is over and how painful that is. Instead of focusing on the wonderful experiences and special memories, we only think about the end and the pain and regret that come with it. It’s important to remember that everything will eventually end, and with the proper perspective, you can make the ending as meaningful as the experience itself.
Everyone has a right to their secrets. We all have ideas, passions, and emotions constantly streaming through us. Some are dark and would hurt people in our lives if they were known. Some of them may be embarrassing and cause us to feel guilty and ashamed if they were known. Your psyche belongs to you. […]
