Our perception of time

Fitting It in or Filling the Hours—Our Perception of Time

I’ve spent most of my life with every moment spoken for. I’ve had to really work to make time for meditation, exercise, and other self-care activities. This was good. I chose that lifestyle, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Most of the time I enjoyed being in the fray—I like the feeling of being part of something and working hard with like-minded people toward a shared goal. I like being an active part of my son’s life and spending my evenings and weekends coaching baseball. I enjoy my hobbies, thinking and writing about leading a meaningful life, playing music, reading, and wood sculpting, but all these together left no room for downtime.

Again, this was a choice (and one that I would make again), but I never expected or wanted it to last forever. I always envisioned a time when I would have more time—to reflect, to get more serious about my physical fitness and grace, to build a more solid awareness of the universe and my place in it, and to explore new challenges. This involved a significant change in the way I perceive time. Because time is something I’ve never had enough of, I’ve always treated it as a scarce commodity—something I have to be careful with. So, whenever I did something that took significant time, such as reflection or meditation, I used to get antsy—like I was wasting my time. It’s important to develop an awareness of how we perceive time so that our relationship with time is appropriate for our lifestyle and our experiences.

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Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Wisdom — Understanding Where Your Emotions Take You

Each of us has a constant stream of emotions, but how many of us are aware of that stream and fully understand where our emotions come from and how they affect our lives?

It’s easier for more extreme emotions. We might get excited and happy before we’re about to travel. This kind of emotion bubbles up inside us, and our awareness of it is unavoidable. The same can be said for extremely negative emotions, for example when we suffer the loss of a loved one. In these times, we would do anything to escape the pain we are feeling. It overwhelms us, and we aren’t able to think about anything else. Our full awareness is caught up in our painful emotional stream. But what about times when we don’t feel overwhelming emotions? What about our day-to-day emotional context and how it affects our outlook and actions? It is possible to be fully aware of these emotions too. It’s not only possible; it’s a necessary step in living our lives to the fullest. Our emotional context is a driver for every decision we make, every word we speak, and every action we take. If we can become fully aware of this layer of our psyche, we can live our lives more intentionally and purposefully, and if we can take the next step and develop insights into our emotional stream—if we can see how our emotions are likely to evolve—we can live with a keen sense of identity and direction.

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Pure Poison

Pure Poison—Offloading the Toxicity in Your Life

Poisons are the people, things, or situations you know are bad for you, yet they remain in your life. You likely have some poison in your life—everyone has. You may be one of the lucky ones who can recognize those situations right away and take decisive action. Or, like me, you rationalized, denied, or had an uncontrollable urge to keep them in your life. Most of these toxic elements in your life have their upside. They made you feel good in some way—at least in the short term, and that good must be intensely good because it is compelling you to live with the extreme negative aspects or consequences. The good part also may be a “potential good” or just imagined—a carrot just out of reach that never comes closer. The fundamental question is, why do you keep these poisons in your life? Why do you subject yourself to their ravages? 

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Parts of a whole

Parts of a Whole—Understanding Who You Are

It’s the middle of the night, and you wake up as a different person. You’re still you, but part of you is missing. The part of you that is confident in your life and your path is missing, and what is left is a mess of doubts, fears, and worries, with maybe even a healthy dose of self-hatred. Why is it that there are times in our lives when we are happy, confident, and energetic and other times, maybe even the same day, when all of that seems stripped away, or replaced by its negative twin? It may happen when we can’t sleep in the middle of the night, or when we’re commuting, or when we’re alone for any length of time. It’s important to know why this happens and what we do when it does happen.

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Fluidity of Friendship

The Fluidity of Friendship—The Evolving Nature of Our Connections

The people you know are not the same people they were when you met.

People change—sometimes little by little, in subtle ways, and sometimes dramatically—but, ultimately, we all change all the time. We have to be open to changes in the people we know—even those we have known intimately or for a long time. If we expect people to stay the same, we will invariably be disappointed or confused. We also have to be open to changes within ourselves. If we find ourselves wondering why we aren’t reacting the same way to what is happening to us, it is because we are experiencing life as evolving, growing people. We constantly respond to the events in our lives in different ways, whether we know it or not. Once we embrace this fact, we will be able to handle life’s twists and turns with a sense of wonder and excitement instead of worry and foreboding.

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