Cross the Border—Owning Your Existence

Master of the Universe – Owning Your Existence

We each have a border – an event horizon in our existence – that we cross over and over, back and forth throughout the course of our lives. When we’re within the border, we’re completely taken up with the day-to-day details of our lives and the associated headaches and heartaches that go with them. But when we can escape that part of our lives and get past the border of our day-to-day, we gain perspective on our existence and can see the big picture. In this state, we are significantly less impacted by what is happening around us. We’re aware of it, we respond to it, but we are not controlled by it. Some people live their whole lives within the border of the day-to-day – they have a limited perspective and they are unable to step back and take a deep breath. Others have learned to live beyond the border. They engage and they take care of business, but they don’t allow the details to control the flow of their lives or their emotional landscape. If you can be aware of this border, you can learn to live beyond it and control your existence.

In the weeds

A big part of mastering your universe is keeping an awareness of your universe. So many of us live in the weeds of our lives. We get caught up in the minutiae – the challenges and the worries, and we stop seeing the forest for the trees. Of course, we have to keep part of our attention on the details – we have to address our troubles and tribulations as they arise – but we don’t have to live there. It’s possible to pay attention to the details while also keeping a panoramic perspective on your life. However, perspective can be hard. Responsibilities can be overwhelming, people can get under your skin, and your energy can run out. But if you can keep a small part of your brain devoted to assessing all of this – on the dashboard of your physical and emotional state – and try to understand how the events and people in your life impact you, you will be much more able to keep on top of it. You can also add some intentional perspective to the mix. Take the time to reflect on the good things in your life, and how “bad” the bad things are. Take time for your awareness of the big picture.

Being a vampire

I love vampire books, and one of reasons I do is the way vampires are depicted. Depending on the author, they are often described as having preternatural physical, mental, and psychological abilities. They move through the world on their terms, in control of themselves and attuned to everyone around them. If you look beyond the predatory nature of their existence, they have a lot to emulate. As silly as it sounds, when I think about my own “perspective border,” I think about the vampire example and try to emulate it. It involves elements of emotional awareness, physical grace, and meaningful social interaction. This gets away from the vampire ideal pretty quickly and passes on to a practical (and non-fictional) way of being that I try to maintain. But I can always go back to my vampire stories for a refresh when I need to!

It’s all about the attitude

Owning your existence is a choice, but sometimes (maybe most of the time) it doesn’t feel like it. So many obligations and so much seems out of your control. Life keeps screaming onward and each day brings a new batch of responsibilities, decisions, and problems to solve. You may think, what other path do I have but the one that keeps appearing in front of me? But keep the idea in your head that this moment is yours. Your emotions are yours, your thoughts are yours, and your choices are yours. You do own the moment, and what is life but a series of moments? Of course, you can’t flick a switch to turn off anger, turn on happiness, or make irritating people go away, but you can choose circumstances that result in these outcomes. If you can keep that attitude in the forefront of your mind, you’re already halfway toward owning the moment. Yes, the day-to-day hustle and bustle of your life will be there, but you will be able to treat it like pulling on a puppet’s strings (rather than rather than life pulling your strings). It takes practice and focus, but it is possible.

Every day, and multiple times during the day, take ownership of your world. Stop, step back, breathe, and say, 

This life is mine. 

What I do with it is my choice. 

My reactions to events are my responsibility. 

I own this moment and all the moments to come.

With practice, you’ll be able to recognize anything that’s happening in your life that is not consistent with these statements. You are the master of your own universe. Don’t give that power away to anyone or anything.


Art by LesichkaDesign

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