Proactive Archives - Page 4 of 30

August 19, 2023May 13, 2023 by Pete Wiley

A Fresh Start—Finding a Spark in the Everyday

Life can be inconsistent. Why do you sometimes feel like you’re buried in baggage and history, and sometimes you can move forward unfettered? The difference can be how interesting your work or life activities are. You may be involved in what you perceive to be cumbersome pursuits, while at other times your life can be interesting and exciting. Sometimes the difference is purely psychological. During the times you feel weighted down, you may feel there is no escape from the narrow tunnel you’re in. You may feel there are forces in play that keep your life in constant drudgery, and you aren’t able to defeat them. At other times, even when engaged in the same activities or tasks, you feel energized and invigorated. The work seems light and even fun. If you could figure out the difference between these two scenarios, would it be possible to always keep it fresh?

July 22, 2023April 20, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Mindful Existence—Learning How to Live in a World Full of Distractions

In the modern world, we have amazing technology that would have seemed like magic centuries ago, and like science fiction only decades ago. We’re connected with other people around the globe in an instant and think nothing of it. This past week, I was on video meetings with people from Hawai’i, New Caledonia, and Alaska and across the continental US, and it didn’t even warrant a passing mention. We also have literally every movie or TV show ever made available at any time. And if all of that doesn’t satiate our desire for distraction, we have a near infinite stream of opinions, status updates, shares, clips, and fails available from multiple social media sources, all the time. For people born in this era, it’s very easy to never have a time when our brains aren’t occupied by external stimuli, and as a result, to never learn how to live without distraction.

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July 8, 2023April 20, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Responsibility in Relationships—Developing Bonds of Trust

My son is twenty-one, and I trust him completely.

Well, almost completely. He’s tried to pull some fast ones over the years, but on the whole, they’ve been very minor. I’d almost be worried if he hadn’t. All of us go through a process in our relationships of establishing how much we trust one another and how trustworthy we are. Part of that includes exploring the boundaries and finding the balance between words and actions that we perceive as beneficial to us (e.g., a child getting away with something) and those that build trust. In terms of trust in relationship with others, there are several ways to think about it. One is the component of trust in the parts of our lives that come with significant responsibilities, such as taking care of our children, as well as other aspects of our relationships and our professional duties. Another is our trust in others based on the strength of the relationship. This kind of trust depends on our experience with other people as well as how trustworthy we are. We can also think about trust as an attachment to a certain outcome—we trust something is going to happen. While this isn’t necessarily bad, we should guard against becoming too attached to a particular behavior or condition and stay open-minded as to what we might encounter on our path.

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May 27, 2023April 6, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Breadth of Experience—the Benefits of Dabbling

Throughout our lives, we have the opportunity to encounter an enormous variety of activities and experiences. Some may seem out of reach—either because we feel we’re not talented enough or because it would be too hard to become proficient. Maybe we feel we wouldn’t enjoy it or that it’s out of our comfort zone. But the fact is, these reasons are just excuses. We won’t really know if something is possible unless we try.Trying something doesn’t mean making a long-term commitment. We can try activities in the short term and see if we have an aptitude for it or if we enjoy it. On the other hand, we shouldn’t stop doing something without giving it a chance—it might grow on us or we might enjoy it once we get some experience and get even a little bit better.Ultimately, the more things we try, the more likely it will be that we will find our passion.

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April 29, 2023March 30, 2023 by Pete Wiley

Who’s in the Driver’s Seat?—Understanding Our Motivations

Each of us makes many choices every day. Some of them are commonplace (what will I have for breakfast?), while some are weighty (should I look for a new job?). All of our choices have consequences, some of which we know and take into account and some of which we’re unaware of or in denial about. It’s important that we understand why we make the choices we do (all of them) and the relationships between their potential consequences and our motivations. Our paths in life are driven by our motivations, and the clearer the pictures we have of what drives us down our paths, the better able we will be to sit squarely in the driver’s seat. It can be so easy to switch on cruise control and go wherever the road takes us based on what is visible through the windshield. But if we take the time to really understand where we want to go—what we want from life—and map out a route to take us there, we’ll be much more likely to make choices that are consistent with that path.

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